Today, after a long weekend and a good time spent at home in Bulacan I suddenly felt that I am am thinking uncertain....
Last night, Sunday, after just arriving in Makati from the province, I spent some time at our pad and then went out for a Sunday night time out! I went out with a good friend of mine. We basically spent our time in Greenbelt then later decided to take time on net cafe. Well, prior to the net cafe we basically catch up on the events that transpired in our lives for the past days. In addition to this, the most encouraging part is the thrill of talking about our love lives. Hehehe
Well, the night just passed by. Last night I also met with a person whom I thought was worth meeting to the least..but I guess I was wrong. It wasn't a very good timing I must say. I did not feel good about it. I thought that meeting this person could have made a difference somehow from the other meet ups I have made in the pasts.
In short, after almost an hour, I segway to go back to my friend and we went on to continue surfing the net until the early morning...
I went home at 3 AM, then I woke up at around 8:45 AM. Just enough to go to work. BUT! oops, I am not feeling good about going to work all of a sudden. I felt tired and hindered. There has been some uncertainty at work lately, the company status and it's objectives per se is the main concern I have. I enjoy my new work come to think of it. But, I don't seem to enjoy it fully when at the back of my mind I might find myself in the ditch for lack of stability in tenure. I don't know how to assess the situation, my situation, with my company right now. It seems that I have a good future here since opportunities to shine here would be good if the office would just simply be transparent about where we are heading. On the contrary, I feel quite down and uneasy.
How I wish I could disspell all these negativities in my mind. I have long for a stable job and a good personal life for so long now. 2005 is such a new hope for me...after going through a lot these past 3 years. I can only think now that I must be ready to face any consequences that lies ahead of me. Life is a journey indeed. But then, I couldn't help but think why my journey has always been not so smooth.
I am tired.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Not in the mood as I write
It's a new year once again. I am back here in the office. It's a start of a new work. The holiday vacation is over.
The vacation was cool and full of good celebration. I basically spent the time with my kinsmen and friends. For me, all these are worth while celebrations.
Yet! Now it is 2005...suddenly am not in a good mood. I was trying to find a reason to this abnormality within my mind. My mood shifted to a considerable extent. Which I really don't like feeling.
I am perhaps on the right track though. What I need perhaps is a dose of inspiration from my higher Being. A swirl of positivity that is dissipating or has lowered down. I need a boost!
I am certain that I am in a good direction. I don't intend to lose my way now. I can't afford to fall right at this point. I do hope as I express myself here, I will find the reason to feel good and happy again.
There's so much going on again in my head and my tolerance is shaking to a point where I cannot bear it. This is a year of new hope for me and achievements. As far as I am concern, I want all my goals and end be achieved. The question is, "Will I survive?" The answer that I'd like to say, "Yes! With Flying colors!"
Head up and be proud!
The vacation was cool and full of good celebration. I basically spent the time with my kinsmen and friends. For me, all these are worth while celebrations.
Yet! Now it is 2005...suddenly am not in a good mood. I was trying to find a reason to this abnormality within my mind. My mood shifted to a considerable extent. Which I really don't like feeling.
I am perhaps on the right track though. What I need perhaps is a dose of inspiration from my higher Being. A swirl of positivity that is dissipating or has lowered down. I need a boost!
I am certain that I am in a good direction. I don't intend to lose my way now. I can't afford to fall right at this point. I do hope as I express myself here, I will find the reason to feel good and happy again.
There's so much going on again in my head and my tolerance is shaking to a point where I cannot bear it. This is a year of new hope for me and achievements. As far as I am concern, I want all my goals and end be achieved. The question is, "Will I survive?" The answer that I'd like to say, "Yes! With Flying colors!"
Head up and be proud!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
2004: My declaration ; 2005: My achievements
Life has always been an exciting ride for us all. It is exciting in the sense that we all experience a lot of things, good and bad, in our so called lives.
Last 2003, I went through a change. And now, 2004 I faced the reality within myself. I am speaking in terms of career path, family life and personal life. Indeed, I can consider myself a life surfer who has given a lot of spice to my close environment.
Looking back on this year and now as I am writing I can say that in general this was a very good year for me. Most of my goals and most of what I want to do in the beginning days of this year transpired to a considerable degree.
January 2004, I ended my stint on my 2nd job of almost 3 years. This decision has already been declared last December 2003. There was no regret on my part doing this decision. For I was ready to leave and pursue a different career direction in writing.
I am successful in a way to try my luck in the field of writing. I met a lot of people, considerable beings who gave me the chance and the support to pursue my goal to write.
Almost 2 months after my resignation, I found myself working in an international NGO for peace. I was like into an apprenticeship program here. The experience was good and really enriching. I helped my superior here to finalize his self-authored book about peace. Though as enriching as the experience is, my stint on this I-NGO was short. I need not elaborate what happened but basically I ended my work here formally. During this period, as an aspiring writer that I am, I had to decide if I will go back to my work in the IT industry and pursue career in writing on the side light. This crossroad I had to deal and was able to cross later on.
Around March 2004, I went back to where I first belonged. I found a good career offer as an IT professional for a mobile content provider. My first job, back in 2000 is somewhat similar to this. I was excited and was really in high spirit when I joined this company.
Truly, in any arena there is a mixture of positive and negative. My second work for this year alone proved to be a challenged. As exciting as the skills that I can learn in my work here, competition and intrigue came along . I am lucky to have stayed for 6 months in this company. It's not that I was intolerant of the situation, but I knew very well that the company is not running well. As I write this, the last that I heard of about this company is not so good. I opted to find a better pasture and that was perhaps a good decision as far as my career development is concern.
The 2nd quarter of this year led me to experience some personal realizations as well. Given my present career moves at this point, I also went through some life changing upheavals. A blast from the past, someone I knew four years ago came back. It was not planned, both of us , perhaps never did plan this to happen. But for some unknown reason, we were driven back on each other's arms. The reconnection was something I did not imagine can happen, but it did. At some point I felt bliss and happiness being with this angel.
Like any beautiful romance or sweet stories, this experience proved to be a bitter pill to swallow as well. All the hopes and laughter turned gray and sour. Things did not end well between us.
Going through this experience, I had to bear myself so heavily. I stumbled so hard to my knees. I came to a point where I almost gave up my work and retreat back. I made some bad decisions and have tried harder.
I am not so good in dealing with matters of the heart. 2004 is career and love combined for me. I experienced transformation within myself this year. I accepted my real self and have come to share this with people that came close to me. I met new friends and had maintained close relationships with them. I continued to keep my old connections and basically have managed to make my circle of friends grow. These people, including my kinsmen, were the only shield and thrust that supported me.
As I undergo career upheavals and love turmoils, I believe I have become stronger. This year is my self declaration and realization.
I moved along...around July 2004 while am still with the second company...I met someone through friends introduction. I felt good to go out once again. This was the start of my healing from the angel that broke my heart and soul to a degree. This second love pass made me feel good about myself. I realized my potential to be a good person who is capable of giving love without really expecting much in return. This for me was good enough to experience basically this did not last like the first one this year.
When I ended this loving experience, I focused my attention to my career once again. I had to rebuild my career path as I confirmed myself. This time am more bold and daring to act. Luckily, time somehow was on my side. I got a call from a company in Makati named Vinciworks. It was on this company I found my new home. I went through the process of selection and was able to pass through it. At this point, I was ready to leave my second job for this year alone. There was no looking back for me at this point. I laid out my last quarter objectives and went through it. Believe me, trying to prove something to yourself, to others and your family is something not so easy to do. My formula? Hmmm ...faith.
September 2004, I am in my new office. This is a new set of work experience for me. I never thought that I can get in here. Somehow the process was kind of tough. And right now, I would say the pressure and the demand here is really something not like in my previous work experiences. I am feeling good about this whole new work experience basically. I felt more secure here.
We have a saying, "Once is ok. Twice is good but experiencing it thrice would be enough!" I was thinking, this is the third work stint I had in a year...and so far the experience is kind of rewarding. There are tough challenges at work and so much learnings that fill my thirst for knowledge and experience. I already have come to a point of realization that I will be more focused here in my third job. This is to avoid the mistakes I had in the past. So far, I think I am doing well.
As I have already mentioned, 2004 is a combination of career and love for me. This article won't be complete if I won't include my third love encounter. At this point where my career seemed to have stabilized, I found myself eventually falling again with someone I came acrossed with through friends.
Cupid hit me thrice this year and the third arrow proved to be poisonous as well in the end. I would like to believe that I found my love in this person but time was not on our side. Also, this person never had the strong feeling towards me. At a point, we kind of had the moment and the connection but things got diverted by other forces of nature. I had to let go and accept. I learned from my pasts and be as mature as I can be.
This year is coming to an end. If I will look back on those past months and days and times, I am glad to say that I have live! I experienced a lot of crossroads in my life this year that put me ono the spotlight, where the world is my stage and I am one of the actors. Shakespeare is really a genious thinking it that way.
As I continue, life would be like surfing on the vast ocean of tides. 2004 is my declaration, 2005 will be the achievement of everything I have always wanted to pursue and realize. I will carry on and do it with full intention.
SO MOTE IT BE!
Last 2003, I went through a change. And now, 2004 I faced the reality within myself. I am speaking in terms of career path, family life and personal life. Indeed, I can consider myself a life surfer who has given a lot of spice to my close environment.
Looking back on this year and now as I am writing I can say that in general this was a very good year for me. Most of my goals and most of what I want to do in the beginning days of this year transpired to a considerable degree.
January 2004, I ended my stint on my 2nd job of almost 3 years. This decision has already been declared last December 2003. There was no regret on my part doing this decision. For I was ready to leave and pursue a different career direction in writing.
I am successful in a way to try my luck in the field of writing. I met a lot of people, considerable beings who gave me the chance and the support to pursue my goal to write.
Almost 2 months after my resignation, I found myself working in an international NGO for peace. I was like into an apprenticeship program here. The experience was good and really enriching. I helped my superior here to finalize his self-authored book about peace. Though as enriching as the experience is, my stint on this I-NGO was short. I need not elaborate what happened but basically I ended my work here formally. During this period, as an aspiring writer that I am, I had to decide if I will go back to my work in the IT industry and pursue career in writing on the side light. This crossroad I had to deal and was able to cross later on.
Around March 2004, I went back to where I first belonged. I found a good career offer as an IT professional for a mobile content provider. My first job, back in 2000 is somewhat similar to this. I was excited and was really in high spirit when I joined this company.
Truly, in any arena there is a mixture of positive and negative. My second work for this year alone proved to be a challenged. As exciting as the skills that I can learn in my work here, competition and intrigue came along . I am lucky to have stayed for 6 months in this company. It's not that I was intolerant of the situation, but I knew very well that the company is not running well. As I write this, the last that I heard of about this company is not so good. I opted to find a better pasture and that was perhaps a good decision as far as my career development is concern.
The 2nd quarter of this year led me to experience some personal realizations as well. Given my present career moves at this point, I also went through some life changing upheavals. A blast from the past, someone I knew four years ago came back. It was not planned, both of us , perhaps never did plan this to happen. But for some unknown reason, we were driven back on each other's arms. The reconnection was something I did not imagine can happen, but it did. At some point I felt bliss and happiness being with this angel.
Like any beautiful romance or sweet stories, this experience proved to be a bitter pill to swallow as well. All the hopes and laughter turned gray and sour. Things did not end well between us.
Going through this experience, I had to bear myself so heavily. I stumbled so hard to my knees. I came to a point where I almost gave up my work and retreat back. I made some bad decisions and have tried harder.
I am not so good in dealing with matters of the heart. 2004 is career and love combined for me. I experienced transformation within myself this year. I accepted my real self and have come to share this with people that came close to me. I met new friends and had maintained close relationships with them. I continued to keep my old connections and basically have managed to make my circle of friends grow. These people, including my kinsmen, were the only shield and thrust that supported me.
As I undergo career upheavals and love turmoils, I believe I have become stronger. This year is my self declaration and realization.
I moved along...around July 2004 while am still with the second company...I met someone through friends introduction. I felt good to go out once again. This was the start of my healing from the angel that broke my heart and soul to a degree. This second love pass made me feel good about myself. I realized my potential to be a good person who is capable of giving love without really expecting much in return. This for me was good enough to experience basically this did not last like the first one this year.
When I ended this loving experience, I focused my attention to my career once again. I had to rebuild my career path as I confirmed myself. This time am more bold and daring to act. Luckily, time somehow was on my side. I got a call from a company in Makati named Vinciworks. It was on this company I found my new home. I went through the process of selection and was able to pass through it. At this point, I was ready to leave my second job for this year alone. There was no looking back for me at this point. I laid out my last quarter objectives and went through it. Believe me, trying to prove something to yourself, to others and your family is something not so easy to do. My formula? Hmmm ...faith.
September 2004, I am in my new office. This is a new set of work experience for me. I never thought that I can get in here. Somehow the process was kind of tough. And right now, I would say the pressure and the demand here is really something not like in my previous work experiences. I am feeling good about this whole new work experience basically. I felt more secure here.
We have a saying, "Once is ok. Twice is good but experiencing it thrice would be enough!" I was thinking, this is the third work stint I had in a year...and so far the experience is kind of rewarding. There are tough challenges at work and so much learnings that fill my thirst for knowledge and experience. I already have come to a point of realization that I will be more focused here in my third job. This is to avoid the mistakes I had in the past. So far, I think I am doing well.
As I have already mentioned, 2004 is a combination of career and love for me. This article won't be complete if I won't include my third love encounter. At this point where my career seemed to have stabilized, I found myself eventually falling again with someone I came acrossed with through friends.
Cupid hit me thrice this year and the third arrow proved to be poisonous as well in the end. I would like to believe that I found my love in this person but time was not on our side. Also, this person never had the strong feeling towards me. At a point, we kind of had the moment and the connection but things got diverted by other forces of nature. I had to let go and accept. I learned from my pasts and be as mature as I can be.
This year is coming to an end. If I will look back on those past months and days and times, I am glad to say that I have live! I experienced a lot of crossroads in my life this year that put me ono the spotlight, where the world is my stage and I am one of the actors. Shakespeare is really a genious thinking it that way.
As I continue, life would be like surfing on the vast ocean of tides. 2004 is my declaration, 2005 will be the achievement of everything I have always wanted to pursue and realize. I will carry on and do it with full intention.
SO MOTE IT BE!
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Somewhere in my recent past...I wrote this..and now I think am ok?
There's this quote, “Sa pag-ibig, masakit mahulog sa taong ang tingin sa iyo ay kaibigan lang…Pero mas masakit na malaman mong mahal ka niya ngunit dahil sa pagkakaibigan…Pilit niyang tinatanggi.”
To clarify though, I don’t have any bitterness against anyone for that matter in my heart right now as I am writing this. But I cannot hide the fact I am ailing and in pain to think that my good friend, someone I love and have come to adore has break in the news into my face...I think what I was needing was some point of clarity between us, but this seemed to be something that looked like as a goodbye to what ever future we might have.
“Friends lang muna tayo…napaka spontaneous ng mind ko. Minsan I feel this way and that way...” These are the words.
I don’t know how I’m feeling right now my friend. It’s a mixture of feelings for that matter. It’s not everyday we get to love someone and have his/her same degree of love be given back to you. If it happens, then it’s probably a blessing. In my case, once again it was not given back. Time was against me once more.
Just recently, I come face to phone with my friend. I’d like to address him to be a friend, ‘coz we really are. But we are friends to a higher level of relationship. We sort of had an understanding. But we sort of had no commitment. What a complicated matter this can be, if you can just imagine.
“I have feelings for you too…but…” These are the words.
I don’t know if I should feel good about it. If he has feelings for me maybe then it wasn’t good enough. I have feelings for him, but I cannot force it into him. He knows how I feel. I don’t want to put pressure on him. I can only give myself to a certain point. It was so hard to hear him say these words to me. Caught off guard I am.
“Please don’t think pinaglalaruan lang kita, kaya kailangan malinaw sa atin ito..” If he is reading this now, I want him to know I am not thinking that way. I met him, probably at a wrong time but never I would be thinking that I was toyed. I found him to be extraordinary, not the usual character seen by the naked eye. That is probably the reason I liked him so much in the first place. I won’t change my thoughts on him as long as he will not give me reason to think otherwise.
“I love you…”
HAHAHAH …that’s all I had to reply when he uttered those words. I didn’t know but what I felt hearing him say those words, my heart crumpled and my mind was thinking and wanting to say to him…”Mahal mo ako bilang ano…bakit kailangan mo pang sabihin…” Like he was reading my mind via telepathy he said again, “I love you friend….I don’t want to lose you.”
At this point I don’t know how to react but I uttered words I can no longer remember now. The conversation was not good enough for me. I told him I don’t appreciate the way he came unto me. I prefer a face to face not face to phone setup. I didn’t know. Probably it’s because I have been into various relationship booboos and the least gesture I would expect someone to do is not to directly come up to me. I don’t know but I am really not solve with that.
In a matter of days, my world will revolve and my life will move along with the tides of life. I still expect, somehow at some peak of tide, Phil and I will find the right time to converge and be together for real. Yes we are friends but this will look like a cliche, won't it. I cannot discount the fact, we both might not end up together in the long run.
This is so hard for me right now, but I am friends with him. I promised to him nothing will change…still this would probably be something that will move us apart. I hope not. I am human and at my phase will get over this feeling I just don't know how. If destiny will give us the reason to go on with our lives separately I would accept, but if I can decide I would like to love him for all my life. I love you…I don’t want us to be just friends If only time can permit..my friend...
To clarify though, I don’t have any bitterness against anyone for that matter in my heart right now as I am writing this. But I cannot hide the fact I am ailing and in pain to think that my good friend, someone I love and have come to adore has break in the news into my face...I think what I was needing was some point of clarity between us, but this seemed to be something that looked like as a goodbye to what ever future we might have.
“Friends lang muna tayo…napaka spontaneous ng mind ko. Minsan I feel this way and that way...” These are the words.
I don’t know how I’m feeling right now my friend. It’s a mixture of feelings for that matter. It’s not everyday we get to love someone and have his/her same degree of love be given back to you. If it happens, then it’s probably a blessing. In my case, once again it was not given back. Time was against me once more.
Just recently, I come face to phone with my friend. I’d like to address him to be a friend, ‘coz we really are. But we are friends to a higher level of relationship. We sort of had an understanding. But we sort of had no commitment. What a complicated matter this can be, if you can just imagine.
“I have feelings for you too…but…” These are the words.
I don’t know if I should feel good about it. If he has feelings for me maybe then it wasn’t good enough. I have feelings for him, but I cannot force it into him. He knows how I feel. I don’t want to put pressure on him. I can only give myself to a certain point. It was so hard to hear him say these words to me. Caught off guard I am.
“Please don’t think pinaglalaruan lang kita, kaya kailangan malinaw sa atin ito..” If he is reading this now, I want him to know I am not thinking that way. I met him, probably at a wrong time but never I would be thinking that I was toyed. I found him to be extraordinary, not the usual character seen by the naked eye. That is probably the reason I liked him so much in the first place. I won’t change my thoughts on him as long as he will not give me reason to think otherwise.
“I love you…”
HAHAHAH …that’s all I had to reply when he uttered those words. I didn’t know but what I felt hearing him say those words, my heart crumpled and my mind was thinking and wanting to say to him…”Mahal mo ako bilang ano…bakit kailangan mo pang sabihin…” Like he was reading my mind via telepathy he said again, “I love you friend….I don’t want to lose you.”
At this point I don’t know how to react but I uttered words I can no longer remember now. The conversation was not good enough for me. I told him I don’t appreciate the way he came unto me. I prefer a face to face not face to phone setup. I didn’t know. Probably it’s because I have been into various relationship booboos and the least gesture I would expect someone to do is not to directly come up to me. I don’t know but I am really not solve with that.
In a matter of days, my world will revolve and my life will move along with the tides of life. I still expect, somehow at some peak of tide, Phil and I will find the right time to converge and be together for real. Yes we are friends but this will look like a cliche, won't it. I cannot discount the fact, we both might not end up together in the long run.
This is so hard for me right now, but I am friends with him. I promised to him nothing will change…still this would probably be something that will move us apart. I hope not. I am human and at my phase will get over this feeling I just don't know how. If destiny will give us the reason to go on with our lives separately I would accept, but if I can decide I would like to love him for all my life. I love you…I don’t want us to be just friends If only time can permit..my friend...
Thursday, November 18, 2004
SERYENG TAGALOG: LARO
Anong laro ang mainam
Anong laro ang may kagandahan
Ang buhay ay isang laro
Tunay ngang mahirap na laro
Araw araw ako'y sumusugal
Sa isang laro na di ko lubos na alam
Laro ng buhay ang tawag ko dito
Larong walang humpay
Tayo ng makipaglaro
Sa kapalaran at panahon
Laro ng buhay
May pait at may saya
Laro...
....Halika ka na. Sasali ka ba?
Anong laro ang may kagandahan
Ang buhay ay isang laro
Tunay ngang mahirap na laro
Araw araw ako'y sumusugal
Sa isang laro na di ko lubos na alam
Laro ng buhay ang tawag ko dito
Larong walang humpay
Tayo ng makipaglaro
Sa kapalaran at panahon
Laro ng buhay
May pait at may saya
Laro...
....Halika ka na. Sasali ka ba?
Monday, October 25, 2004
For the reason I Flip :-)
This is my version of the song, "How did you know". I entitled it, "I did not know".
I did not really know that I could feel this way again. That is, to like someone and each day care to a higher degree of caring and thinking. Nonetheless, it is such a lovely feeling. I share this to you and soon I hope we can sing it together. :-)
- Jonathan
I did not know
INTRO
I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You gave me your name
I gave you mine and made you smile
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right on my mind
Made me feel life will work out just fine
CHORUS
I did not know
I needed someone like you in my life
And fill the empty space in my heart
We met at the right time in my life
I'll never forget
When you brought the stars to light up my life
And took all the woes and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you cross my way
No words can say how much I care for you
(Repeat Chorus)
I did not really know that I could feel this way again. That is, to like someone and each day care to a higher degree of caring and thinking. Nonetheless, it is such a lovely feeling. I share this to you and soon I hope we can sing it together. :-)
- Jonathan
I did not know
INTRO
I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You gave me your name
I gave you mine and made you smile
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right on my mind
Made me feel life will work out just fine
CHORUS
I did not know
I needed someone like you in my life
And fill the empty space in my heart
We met at the right time in my life
I'll never forget
When you brought the stars to light up my life
And took all the woes and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you cross my way
No words can say how much I care for you
(Repeat Chorus)
Thursday, October 21, 2004
"Say You Love Me"
"I was looking into the mp3 of my officemate and had the chance to listen to this beautiful Patti Austin original song, "SAY YOU LOVE ME".
It was quite a hit to me. It is so cool to the ear and somehow I was able to relate to the message of the song. Hmmm....it's not really a big deal for me...or at least I don't want to think of that as a big deal. I don't want to assume any possibility 'cause I have always been blinded and had easily fallen in love in the pasts.
Listening to this song, reminded me of the importance of how good it is to feel inspired. Basically, it is the essence. Now, even if I am still not sure if the other party feels the same way as I feel, I could straightly say that it's worth experiencing to feel good for someone.
Now in my busy work day, I was able to deviate and send this one to all who may likewise feel te way that I feel. "-JT
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It was quite a hit to me. It is so cool to the ear and somehow I was able to relate to the message of the song. Hmmm....it's not really a big deal for me...or at least I don't want to think of that as a big deal. I don't want to assume any possibility 'cause I have always been blinded and had easily fallen in love in the pasts.
Listening to this song, reminded me of the importance of how good it is to feel inspired. Basically, it is the essence. Now, even if I am still not sure if the other party feels the same way as I feel, I could straightly say that it's worth experiencing to feel good for someone.
Now in my busy work day, I was able to deviate and send this one to all who may likewise feel te way that I feel. "-JT
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Don't you know that I want to be more than just your friend?
Holdin' hands is fine, but I've got better things on my mind
You know it could happen if you'd only see me in a different light
Maybe when we finally get together, you will see that I was right
Say you love me You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me
Don't treat me like I was lice, ooh, woo, woo
Please love me I'll be yours and you'll be mine
If you'd only say you love me, baby
Things would really work out fine
Don't you know that I want to be more than just your friend
Holdin' hands is fine, but I've got better things on my mind
You know it could happen if you'd only see me in a different light
Maybe when we finally get together, you will see that I was right
Say you love me You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me
Don't treat me like I was lice, ooh, woo, woo
Please love me I'll be yours and you'll be mine
If you'd only say you love me, darlin'
Things would really work out fine
Say that you love me Mmm...mmm...ooh...ho...ho...
Say that you love me Mmm...mmm...mmm... Hoo...hoo...baby
Would you say you love me You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me
Don't treat me like I was lice, ooh, woo, woo
Please love me I'll be yours and you'll be mine
If you'd only say you love me, baby
Things would really work out fine
If you'd only say you love me, darlin'
Things would really work out fine
If you'd only say you love me, darlin'
Things would really work out fine
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Reflective Thoughts with a Good Friend
My good friend and I were talking this morning. We were talking about relationships. She was always the playful, not so serious in a relationship as she would claim to me. She would always meet with men and date them and have some intimacy with them. But in the end, she would not take it seriously. For her, it’s not her cup of tea. Is that the term for it? Oh well.
I, for certain was her opposite. I have been in deep, serious war against finding my love. Finding a friend and a partner whom I could share, complement and integrate with is one thing I think is important to me. I’ve been through a lot of interesting encounters with women and men. I don’t deny that fact now, as I am writing this. It’s all basically the same. I have loved and been hurt many times. Sometimes I grew tired and weary. My work, my style has been affected. In the end, I exert some force to move on and go on.
My friend and I, are opposite in our ideas when it comes to dealing with this love thing. I have always encouraged her to try it out seriously. At the same time, she has encouraged me to try it out slowly and don’t rush. By all means, we share those ideas and in a bit fashion we delight with our own experiences.
Just recently, both of us experienced yet another unforgettable encounter, respectively. This time the only difference is the way she, my friend, has thought of her recent encounter. She said to me that she is now somehow ready to consider serious relationship with this man. Or if I understand it right, she said she is 70% sure she likes the man. I’d say in an instant encounter she felt compatibility with this man. I certainly believe that this can happen. Sometimes this kind of setup tends to be the real ones. But I cautioned her as well to take it slowly as she would always tell me.
As she was in her own experience, I also shared with her my recent encounter. As usual my dilemma was the thought of not knowing if the person that I am seeing is really interested in me or was it all just a play? I had this most peculiar encounter with this man and certainly I would really think that this might just be some adventure. But there are just those elements that cannot be seen by the naked eye that I feel or at least I think I can see through.
I certainly know my feeling for this man. I know I like him and I am interested in getting to know him better. But the only reception that I am receiving from him is vague signal that is confusing on my end. I am confuse, maybe I am just being so excited and overly assuming that we do have a connection not just physically but in other aspect of the relationship. Somehow I do want to think it that way. On the other hand, I also think that I am just the one thinking of it that way.
My good friend said that I should just enjoy the moment. Try to get to know the man and just be myself. At this point, I wonder how far can I go? And how interested this man is to me? I like him indeed. I know probably for a fact that he still has some personal things to consider. Can’t he just say, “I like you too, if you’ll wait for me…” Maybe a clear, solid signal that will assure me that I am not lost.
The point is! In a relationship, there are varied circumstances. Communicating your feeling and saying what you mean is one thing. Assuring someone and being honest is another important matter. Being friends first will certainly develop any serious possibility of a deeper relationship, if both parties are willing to cross this line. In having a serious connection, all these will combine.
For my friend and I. I wish us both HAPPINESS and TRUE LOVE in all its definition. Thanks to you for sharing your thoughts to me and as I to you. Thanks to Nur as my friend’s “1/4 Banana Chip” and to Flip as my “Philbox”, for without them we would not feel this good feeling again. Friends or more than that, we all win this round!
I, for certain was her opposite. I have been in deep, serious war against finding my love. Finding a friend and a partner whom I could share, complement and integrate with is one thing I think is important to me. I’ve been through a lot of interesting encounters with women and men. I don’t deny that fact now, as I am writing this. It’s all basically the same. I have loved and been hurt many times. Sometimes I grew tired and weary. My work, my style has been affected. In the end, I exert some force to move on and go on.
My friend and I, are opposite in our ideas when it comes to dealing with this love thing. I have always encouraged her to try it out seriously. At the same time, she has encouraged me to try it out slowly and don’t rush. By all means, we share those ideas and in a bit fashion we delight with our own experiences.
Just recently, both of us experienced yet another unforgettable encounter, respectively. This time the only difference is the way she, my friend, has thought of her recent encounter. She said to me that she is now somehow ready to consider serious relationship with this man. Or if I understand it right, she said she is 70% sure she likes the man. I’d say in an instant encounter she felt compatibility with this man. I certainly believe that this can happen. Sometimes this kind of setup tends to be the real ones. But I cautioned her as well to take it slowly as she would always tell me.
As she was in her own experience, I also shared with her my recent encounter. As usual my dilemma was the thought of not knowing if the person that I am seeing is really interested in me or was it all just a play? I had this most peculiar encounter with this man and certainly I would really think that this might just be some adventure. But there are just those elements that cannot be seen by the naked eye that I feel or at least I think I can see through.
I certainly know my feeling for this man. I know I like him and I am interested in getting to know him better. But the only reception that I am receiving from him is vague signal that is confusing on my end. I am confuse, maybe I am just being so excited and overly assuming that we do have a connection not just physically but in other aspect of the relationship. Somehow I do want to think it that way. On the other hand, I also think that I am just the one thinking of it that way.
My good friend said that I should just enjoy the moment. Try to get to know the man and just be myself. At this point, I wonder how far can I go? And how interested this man is to me? I like him indeed. I know probably for a fact that he still has some personal things to consider. Can’t he just say, “I like you too, if you’ll wait for me…” Maybe a clear, solid signal that will assure me that I am not lost.
The point is! In a relationship, there are varied circumstances. Communicating your feeling and saying what you mean is one thing. Assuring someone and being honest is another important matter. Being friends first will certainly develop any serious possibility of a deeper relationship, if both parties are willing to cross this line. In having a serious connection, all these will combine.
For my friend and I. I wish us both HAPPINESS and TRUE LOVE in all its definition. Thanks to you for sharing your thoughts to me and as I to you. Thanks to Nur as my friend’s “1/4 Banana Chip” and to Flip as my “Philbox”, for without them we would not feel this good feeling again. Friends or more than that, we all win this round!
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Missing mom
I woke up and think of you
I stand from my bed and visualize you
How I miss you still
How sad I become still
When I think of you
Missing you mom
I do, I really do
Missing you “nanay”
I am, I am missing you
Again, I miss you
I head for work in the morning
I am thinking of the day ahead
Can’t help but miss you still
And think of our times together
When I dream of you
Missing you mom
I am in low key now
I miss your care
I miss your love
I miss your tender touch
I am now in the office
Hoping I’ll get by this day
I want you to know…
I miss you
From a distance…
..to where ever you maybe
I love you!
Your son, your one and only, “anak”…Jonathan
I stand from my bed and visualize you
How I miss you still
How sad I become still
When I think of you
Missing you mom
I do, I really do
Missing you “nanay”
I am, I am missing you
Again, I miss you
I head for work in the morning
I am thinking of the day ahead
Can’t help but miss you still
And think of our times together
When I dream of you
Missing you mom
I am in low key now
I miss your care
I miss your love
I miss your tender touch
I am now in the office
Hoping I’ll get by this day
I want you to know…
I miss you
From a distance…
..to where ever you maybe
I love you!
Your son, your one and only, “anak”…Jonathan
Phil box
A box of full of thoughts
A box full of hopes
A man with good aura
A person with smiling heart
A box not empty on the head
A box not so perfect
A man with capabilities
A person that truly holds definition
This box so full of goodies
This box I got the chance to see
I hope to look more inside
I hope the box will open
And hopefully...the box..
this box, this man, this person
Will be the box where I can
Care and share myself with
A box full of hopes
A man with good aura
A person with smiling heart
A box not empty on the head
A box not so perfect
A man with capabilities
A person that truly holds definition
This box so full of goodies
This box I got the chance to see
I hope to look more inside
I hope the box will open
And hopefully...the box..
this box, this man, this person
Will be the box where I can
Care and share myself with
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
With a potential
I fell and got distracted
I cried and ease my pain
I never looked back
I just moved on
I hide and glide
I fly high and set high
When you left
I got tied and I sigh
I got so low big time!
Potentials did came
So much among the crowd
Potentials along my way
I never let them go
So I say, with these potentials I grow
Love life, sex life
These potentials had share
These potentials had claim
They had me and I had them
What a potential feeling it has been!
I hope to seek love
I hope to find light
Experienced forever bliss
and Delight in romance
... with a potential!
I cried and ease my pain
I never looked back
I just moved on
I hide and glide
I fly high and set high
When you left
I got tied and I sigh
I got so low big time!
Potentials did came
So much among the crowd
Potentials along my way
I never let them go
So I say, with these potentials I grow
Love life, sex life
These potentials had share
These potentials had claim
They had me and I had them
What a potential feeling it has been!
I hope to seek love
I hope to find light
Experienced forever bliss
and Delight in romance
... with a potential!
Sex and Love
They say sex is part of human living. They say love conquers all. Sex and love combined is the best thing ever they say. How thrilling this statements can be?
When I was young I learned about playing with myself. Which I think most of us had experienced as we grew up. And only God knows, sometimes we are still doing it when the need arises. Self-sex is the fastest way to get around and feed the carnal desire. It's like a fast food chain that offers milkshake or sundae. SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! VIBRATE! VIBRATE! VIBRATE!
When I was in my younger adult days, I knew very well that potential of having the power to execute the physical act of love, sex! By peer influences, by close relatives, by tv, radio and magazines, I learned it all. I even learned sex from my parents. They taught me well by explaining the risk of having sex due to inappropriate circumstances. That is one heck of a balance, while I learn sex is hot, steamy and oh heaven, I learned that it should come with being a responsible person.
My first sex experience is something I won't forget. Though there was no actual penetration and it was all mere cuddling, and suggestive actions I'd say it was the trigger. After that I never forgot about sex. But I never missed one point along this journey. I also crossed path with love.
I've heard a lot of things about love. It's all good and bad, positive and negative! I thought I won't have to deal with such situation but at one point in my life I had to. Up to now, at certain stages in my life I always deal with love situation. The longing for a serious partner, the need for someone that you'll share your happiness and sadness has triggered me to look for love. The love that is known to many. It is not the filial love, not even the platonic love, but TRUE love with someone!
Sex and love is now combined! Or should I ask, love should come with sex. Is it a rule? Yes it is, I say! But the other question, how to have sex without feeling love but lust alone? This is a different kind of thing for that matter. But it does happen, meaning sex without love!
I have always wondered. It is the mystery of sex and love treated at the same time. I guess in my experiences, I never have fully realized the feeling of love but just the physical connection. Now, I am certain I want someone to share my love with and give up my whole being with. It is definite! It is certain! Too much time I have wasted and too much pain I have experienced. I do hope in the nearest possible time I enjoy both sex and love.
As I write and speak out my thoughts (napag-uusapan lang naman) I want to end this in saying ....
"Sex is inevitable but true love may come as the biggest surprise anyone would never expect in time."
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Enigma
Am I lost in translation or am I just impatient? I need to unfold the things I have planned to do. I do not know if I am doing ok or not.
I am basically in dire need to do and be my best. But I find it so hard to deal with life. Now, at this very moment, I am feeling a bit depress on thinking of what I have yet to achieve.
Before this, I asked for 2 months. And now, 2 months have passed and here I am.
I have started anew and now I am building my blocks. I do not want to think that I am lost. I may be impatient and now in enigmatic mood. This is probably the most logical and sensible explanation I am conditioning myself to hear as I write. Oh whatever!
Oh life is confusing and so mysterious. May HE be able to give me patience and make me stronger as I develop and pursue the various enigma there is to be answered within my journey.
I am basically in dire need to do and be my best. But I find it so hard to deal with life. Now, at this very moment, I am feeling a bit depress on thinking of what I have yet to achieve.
Before this, I asked for 2 months. And now, 2 months have passed and here I am.
I have started anew and now I am building my blocks. I do not want to think that I am lost. I may be impatient and now in enigmatic mood. This is probably the most logical and sensible explanation I am conditioning myself to hear as I write. Oh whatever!
Oh life is confusing and so mysterious. May HE be able to give me patience and make me stronger as I develop and pursue the various enigma there is to be answered within my journey.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Thank You
It's not always everyday we find time to appreciate the things in our life. Thanks you...
...for this day. Although it is raining and the sun isn't shining. I got a good career offer enough to make me feel high and hope for more!
...for my inspiration. I'm in bliss because of you.
...for my father. Although we don't really understand each other at times you have stood by me all the time. You have love our family always. Your rewards will come in time.
...for my cellphone. My connection to the world.
...for my friends, new and old. You all have given me something about yourself enough to charged me with positively teeming life force.
...for my enemies, new and old. You made me stronger.
...for my past loves! Well, what can I say?! I am here now, still alive and have realized my full potential.
...for my nanay. I love you and hopefully someday we meet again.
...for my lola. I love you as well. I miss you.
...for my relatives. They are my constant shadow always keeping me in balance.
...for all the material things I have. It kept me beautiful physically, it enhanced my confidence, it dazed me with extreme passion.
There are lot of things, people, places and events that we can be thankful. This is one good timing to appreciate all of those I mentioned. Life is good!
...for this day. Although it is raining and the sun isn't shining. I got a good career offer enough to make me feel high and hope for more!
...for my inspiration. I'm in bliss because of you.
...for my father. Although we don't really understand each other at times you have stood by me all the time. You have love our family always. Your rewards will come in time.
...for my cellphone. My connection to the world.
...for my friends, new and old. You all have given me something about yourself enough to charged me with positively teeming life force.
...for my enemies, new and old. You made me stronger.
...for my past loves! Well, what can I say?! I am here now, still alive and have realized my full potential.
...for my nanay. I love you and hopefully someday we meet again.
...for my lola. I love you as well. I miss you.
...for my relatives. They are my constant shadow always keeping me in balance.
...for all the material things I have. It kept me beautiful physically, it enhanced my confidence, it dazed me with extreme passion.
There are lot of things, people, places and events that we can be thankful. This is one good timing to appreciate all of those I mentioned. Life is good!
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Out of the blue expression
: When will I get your affection :
I saw you seating on that bench
You were with your partner
I was with a friend
We both say "Hello" and that's all
When will I get your affection
How can I have your heart
You have come into my life
And you filled me again with desire
We are now friends
But more than friends I want us to be
I hope in your heart you see me shining
A small sparkle maybe that will warm you
We grow close and have connected now at times
This feeling inside my heart is total craziness
I keep you company now in your despair
You lost him and now you have me without you knowing
You are my someone, my apple of the eye
When will I get your affection
Capture your mind, your heart and spirit
Tell me, when will I get your affection
I hope soon...
I saw you seating on that bench
You were with your partner
I was with a friend
We both say "Hello" and that's all
When will I get your affection
How can I have your heart
You have come into my life
And you filled me again with desire
We are now friends
But more than friends I want us to be
I hope in your heart you see me shining
A small sparkle maybe that will warm you
We grow close and have connected now at times
This feeling inside my heart is total craziness
I keep you company now in your despair
You lost him and now you have me without you knowing
You are my someone, my apple of the eye
When will I get your affection
Capture your mind, your heart and spirit
Tell me, when will I get your affection
I hope soon...
Monday, July 19, 2004
Out of the blue expression
All I Ask is Two Months
... to pay all my dues
... to seek ways in uplifting my financial losses
... to set my mind again
... to find a better job
... so that I'll be over someone
... so that I can relocate place
... in order for me to rearrange my scrambled life
... to live again
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!
... to pay all my dues
... to seek ways in uplifting my financial losses
... to set my mind again
... to find a better job
... so that I'll be over someone
... so that I can relocate place
... in order for me to rearrange my scrambled life
... to live again
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Out of the blue expression: Career ...
... is only temporary, love it, hate it but never reject it.
The event of the recent past has moved me once again to reflect this time on a higher rationalized level. Primarily this involves my career decision and style.
And so it started…
When I graduated as a Computer Scientist from a reputable state-university coupled with my high academic standing and self-reliance, my entry to the IT industry was quite fast and promising. I thought it was all easy and that so quick. But it was not. It was all just a tip of the big ice berg.
To cut it short, my first 3 years as an IT professional was so full of personal challenges, work challenges and battles. The real world is indeed competitive and you will meet a lot of ambitious people along the way. Good thing, I know how to deal with such kind of atrocities. Nevertheless, as a personal belief I never enjoyed much about the competition or politics going on at work. While it is true that I can play along with the kind of people that I am talking about in this particular writing, I found it so hard to digest why there are people who would be insensitive just to attain their goal in life.
I myself have a lot of ambitions and goals. Those ambitions are my driving force in life but it never occurred in my mind that I should step on other people’s feet just to achieve my goals. For me it was all just a temporary achievement and what ever we would achieve later will be all gone even with just one snap of a finger.
In my fourth year in the working class, I have put up again a solidified career approach. When this year started I was looking forward to a lot of new opportunities laid before my eyes. Aside from my original work experience I have also focus my mind on attaining my ambition to become a full-pledged scriptwriter. All these things put me on excitement as this year entered. I sacrificed my job that time and took the risk of resigning thinking that whatever happens I will survive.
I survived!
The day after I resigned came, it was such a big freedom. I felt am ready to face new opportunities. I focused on my writing career by taking a lot of shot out there which turned out to be all so worth as an experience. In the end, I ended up finding a career still in the IT industry.
The first two months after I resigned was full of challenges. Primarily the challenge was for me to pursue my long-life passion for writing. During those times, I have to be thrifty in everything. I am happy because I know I am doing the right thing, something that I wanted to do a long time ago.
As I survive the challenge, I also realized that if things are not all going the way you want it then I should try to reconsider my other options.
Shifting back
As much as I wanted to pursue writing, I never had the opportunity to cross path with people in that area. There are some few individuals I met but are not that really concentrated on welcoming me to their world. Some discouraging words did affect me. The prime reason is that while it seems many are rewarded in this career, many other writers who tried their best had died poor and was never really given the chance.
And so I have to reconsider going back to the thing that I have already made my marked, that is in the field of IT. It was quite a fruitful come back. There were lots of interviews, exams and calls which proved that I am made and seasoned. It is just a matter of luck, personal choice and divine intervention that I am finally here in my present work as I am writing this small piece.
The idea of writing is still here. The passion for it has grown even bigger. It is only the universal Power that can determine when and where I will write my first script. Right now, I am taking the small steps towards this end goal. I am here learning to do worthy stuff that is my bread and butter so to speak.
Back to the pit!
Going back to the scene again is one thing. This is like a drama on TV, only this is real. In every work, you will find some good and bad people along the way. These people will be the physical representation of your history.
I am glad to have come back to this setup. The social, intelligent, fun and pretentiously witty crowd that composed the same aggregate I encountered in the first three years of my professional work experience are still here and thriving. The only difference this time is that I have learned from my past and so I am much wiser and more mature in dealing with them.
First lesson, smile and say hello! This is one good step to stay in touch with everyone.
Second lesson, always keep an open mind. The mind is like a parachute, it works well when it is wide open. We only have to be careful about the information that our mind will filter. This will affect our decisions along the way.
Third lesson, don’t go on a straight collision with your aggressor. No matter how good your intentions are in fighting for what is right. You should be very careful on hitting the big bad wolf. As much as possible be plain and simple with your moves but be ready anytime.
Fourth lesson, don’t be too attach with everything. Everything here are temporary and you should not indulge yourself much on it. For all you know, these things (work stuffs), these people will not even love you back even if you do the same kind of thing for them.
There are so many lessons learned here. As I write this small piece, ideas keep on coming. If I don’t stop this would probably be as long as the train of Hogwarts.
As a bottom line, career is everything on its own right. It is not permanent. It is not something we should worship. It is something made out of choice, out of need, out of our own inconsistency and out of our wrong and right doings.
“Love live the working class”
The event of the recent past has moved me once again to reflect this time on a higher rationalized level. Primarily this involves my career decision and style.
And so it started…
When I graduated as a Computer Scientist from a reputable state-university coupled with my high academic standing and self-reliance, my entry to the IT industry was quite fast and promising. I thought it was all easy and that so quick. But it was not. It was all just a tip of the big ice berg.
To cut it short, my first 3 years as an IT professional was so full of personal challenges, work challenges and battles. The real world is indeed competitive and you will meet a lot of ambitious people along the way. Good thing, I know how to deal with such kind of atrocities. Nevertheless, as a personal belief I never enjoyed much about the competition or politics going on at work. While it is true that I can play along with the kind of people that I am talking about in this particular writing, I found it so hard to digest why there are people who would be insensitive just to attain their goal in life.
I myself have a lot of ambitions and goals. Those ambitions are my driving force in life but it never occurred in my mind that I should step on other people’s feet just to achieve my goals. For me it was all just a temporary achievement and what ever we would achieve later will be all gone even with just one snap of a finger.
In my fourth year in the working class, I have put up again a solidified career approach. When this year started I was looking forward to a lot of new opportunities laid before my eyes. Aside from my original work experience I have also focus my mind on attaining my ambition to become a full-pledged scriptwriter. All these things put me on excitement as this year entered. I sacrificed my job that time and took the risk of resigning thinking that whatever happens I will survive.
I survived!
The day after I resigned came, it was such a big freedom. I felt am ready to face new opportunities. I focused on my writing career by taking a lot of shot out there which turned out to be all so worth as an experience. In the end, I ended up finding a career still in the IT industry.
The first two months after I resigned was full of challenges. Primarily the challenge was for me to pursue my long-life passion for writing. During those times, I have to be thrifty in everything. I am happy because I know I am doing the right thing, something that I wanted to do a long time ago.
As I survive the challenge, I also realized that if things are not all going the way you want it then I should try to reconsider my other options.
Shifting back
As much as I wanted to pursue writing, I never had the opportunity to cross path with people in that area. There are some few individuals I met but are not that really concentrated on welcoming me to their world. Some discouraging words did affect me. The prime reason is that while it seems many are rewarded in this career, many other writers who tried their best had died poor and was never really given the chance.
And so I have to reconsider going back to the thing that I have already made my marked, that is in the field of IT. It was quite a fruitful come back. There were lots of interviews, exams and calls which proved that I am made and seasoned. It is just a matter of luck, personal choice and divine intervention that I am finally here in my present work as I am writing this small piece.
The idea of writing is still here. The passion for it has grown even bigger. It is only the universal Power that can determine when and where I will write my first script. Right now, I am taking the small steps towards this end goal. I am here learning to do worthy stuff that is my bread and butter so to speak.
Back to the pit!
Going back to the scene again is one thing. This is like a drama on TV, only this is real. In every work, you will find some good and bad people along the way. These people will be the physical representation of your history.
I am glad to have come back to this setup. The social, intelligent, fun and pretentiously witty crowd that composed the same aggregate I encountered in the first three years of my professional work experience are still here and thriving. The only difference this time is that I have learned from my past and so I am much wiser and more mature in dealing with them.
First lesson, smile and say hello! This is one good step to stay in touch with everyone.
Second lesson, always keep an open mind. The mind is like a parachute, it works well when it is wide open. We only have to be careful about the information that our mind will filter. This will affect our decisions along the way.
Third lesson, don’t go on a straight collision with your aggressor. No matter how good your intentions are in fighting for what is right. You should be very careful on hitting the big bad wolf. As much as possible be plain and simple with your moves but be ready anytime.
Fourth lesson, don’t be too attach with everything. Everything here are temporary and you should not indulge yourself much on it. For all you know, these things (work stuffs), these people will not even love you back even if you do the same kind of thing for them.
There are so many lessons learned here. As I write this small piece, ideas keep on coming. If I don’t stop this would probably be as long as the train of Hogwarts.
As a bottom line, career is everything on its own right. It is not permanent. It is not something we should worship. It is something made out of choice, out of need, out of our own inconsistency and out of our wrong and right doings.
“Love live the working class”
Thursday, June 24, 2004
FAST AND FURIOUS
Night outs, gigs and galas
Party, party and party
Work and party
Work and play
I am fast living
I am furious becoming
Spending life
Wasting time
Going wild
I am doing fast
I am growing furious
Sing and dance
Party all night
Drink beer and wine
Go tipsy and wild
Life is fast
Life is furious
Sex without love
Casual endearment
Stereotypical imagery
Unconventional way of living
So fast
So furious
When will all these settle
When will these things go lower
As much as it is good
It is also something bad
Fast days of my life
Furious feelings in my life
Party, party and party
Work and party
Work and play
I am fast living
I am furious becoming
Spending life
Wasting time
Going wild
I am doing fast
I am growing furious
Sing and dance
Party all night
Drink beer and wine
Go tipsy and wild
Life is fast
Life is furious
Sex without love
Casual endearment
Stereotypical imagery
Unconventional way of living
So fast
So furious
When will all these settle
When will these things go lower
As much as it is good
It is also something bad
Fast days of my life
Furious feelings in my life
Seryeng Tagalog (Tagalog Series)
MAHAL PA BA KITA
Ilang linggo na ang lumipas
Naiisip pa din kita
Nagsumpaan walang magbabago
Pero ano ba itong nangyari sa iyo
Ilang linggo na ang lumipas
Ninais ko nang maglayag papalayo sa iyo
Sinabi ko sa aking sarili
Di na kita muling iisipin pa
Ilang linggo na ang lumipas
Bigla kong naisip
Hindi kita magawang limutin
Anong epekto mo sa akin
Ako ngayon ay litung-lito
Maraming beses na akong nangahas
Maraming ulit na akong nagtangka
Ikaw ay iwanan at kalimutan
Pero laging ikaw pa din
Kawawang puso ko, nagdurusa
Mahal pa ba kita
Kaya ako ganito
Mahal pa ba kita
Kaya di ako matuto
Sinabi ko sa sarili
Maling ika'y mahalin
Pilitin ko mang magalit sa iyo
Hindi ko ikaw maiwaglit
Mahal pa ba kita...
Nais ko sanang isipin, hinde na
Nais ko sanang mangyari, huwag na
Mahal pa ba kita, ayoko na!!!
Gusto ko na ng iba!!!
Ilang linggo na ang lumipas
Naiisip pa din kita
Nagsumpaan walang magbabago
Pero ano ba itong nangyari sa iyo
Ilang linggo na ang lumipas
Ninais ko nang maglayag papalayo sa iyo
Sinabi ko sa aking sarili
Di na kita muling iisipin pa
Ilang linggo na ang lumipas
Bigla kong naisip
Hindi kita magawang limutin
Anong epekto mo sa akin
Ako ngayon ay litung-lito
Maraming beses na akong nangahas
Maraming ulit na akong nagtangka
Ikaw ay iwanan at kalimutan
Pero laging ikaw pa din
Kawawang puso ko, nagdurusa
Mahal pa ba kita
Kaya ako ganito
Mahal pa ba kita
Kaya di ako matuto
Sinabi ko sa sarili
Maling ika'y mahalin
Pilitin ko mang magalit sa iyo
Hindi ko ikaw maiwaglit
Mahal pa ba kita...
Nais ko sanang isipin, hinde na
Nais ko sanang mangyari, huwag na
Mahal pa ba kita, ayoko na!!!
Gusto ko na ng iba!!!
Out of the blue expression: 25 years and 10 days later...
Each year that we grow older and wiser is something worth celebrating.
Before I turned 25, I am such a lost soul. (..oh well, that’s how I thought I am… There were lots of things I need to resolve and accept.
When I come to that point of realizing everything, I readily accepted all those things I thought important. In doing so, I gave high hope for me to start all over again. I actually believed that I am going to be much stronger and wiser. All these were true to a point but it was not all worth it and it proved to be so hard to sustain.
When I celebrated my 25th year, I was battling more issues never before raised in front of me. It was such a quick phase and an abrupt pattern that I realize I am only raising up the level of weariness inside me. Life at any give time is almost the same and it was always ready to give you the best and the worst of things.
25 years and 10 days later, I am older. I grew bigger. I transcended higher. And at the same time, I felt am falling behind. I am still attached and have not fully understood the meaning. So many questions were answered but then a couple of issues remain to be answered.
In accepting the truth about me, there was a sense of fulfillment. In facing my enemies and dealing with them, there was a moment of victory. In caring for others, I felt love grow within me. In serving good for others and finding new allies, I am filled with high spirits. All these happenings were not enough for me to get rid of the other side of life I once was trying to forget. I felt rushed, alone, uncertain, afraid and lost still. I have not faced the big picture.
25 years and 10 days later I evolved but I also have not change. Changes don't come in physical form it should also be in varied aspects of mentality, emotion and spirituality. I realized that I have not fulfilled those other aspects.
A good friend of mine once said to me that she admires my maturity and deep thinking ability. It is such an inspiring thing to hear. Knowing that I am still a lad who must learn, achieve and succeed in all the aspects of life itself, this I believe is in preparation of my eternity.
25 years and 10 days later, here I am sitting, contemplating and composing this out of the blue expression. I am just hoping that after this I am going to feel better and a lot stronger again.
Before I turned 25, I am such a lost soul. (..oh well, that’s how I thought I am… There were lots of things I need to resolve and accept.
When I come to that point of realizing everything, I readily accepted all those things I thought important. In doing so, I gave high hope for me to start all over again. I actually believed that I am going to be much stronger and wiser. All these were true to a point but it was not all worth it and it proved to be so hard to sustain.
When I celebrated my 25th year, I was battling more issues never before raised in front of me. It was such a quick phase and an abrupt pattern that I realize I am only raising up the level of weariness inside me. Life at any give time is almost the same and it was always ready to give you the best and the worst of things.
25 years and 10 days later, I am older. I grew bigger. I transcended higher. And at the same time, I felt am falling behind. I am still attached and have not fully understood the meaning. So many questions were answered but then a couple of issues remain to be answered.
In accepting the truth about me, there was a sense of fulfillment. In facing my enemies and dealing with them, there was a moment of victory. In caring for others, I felt love grow within me. In serving good for others and finding new allies, I am filled with high spirits. All these happenings were not enough for me to get rid of the other side of life I once was trying to forget. I felt rushed, alone, uncertain, afraid and lost still. I have not faced the big picture.
25 years and 10 days later I evolved but I also have not change. Changes don't come in physical form it should also be in varied aspects of mentality, emotion and spirituality. I realized that I have not fulfilled those other aspects.
A good friend of mine once said to me that she admires my maturity and deep thinking ability. It is such an inspiring thing to hear. Knowing that I am still a lad who must learn, achieve and succeed in all the aspects of life itself, this I believe is in preparation of my eternity.
25 years and 10 days later, here I am sitting, contemplating and composing this out of the blue expression. I am just hoping that after this I am going to feel better and a lot stronger again.
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