Banaue - Sagada Trip na Trip - January 2008

When I was younger, I would always look at the postcards I see in National Bookstore selling Banaue Rice Terraces photos and Sagada caves. Now, it's not just postcards that I saw. I am really happy to embarked on a spontaneous journey to Banaue and Sagada, Mt. Province.

It was a quick plan with two good friends of mine. They mentioned that they wanted to repeat the kind of trip that we did last 2006 to Mt. Pulag. So we all agreed to reach Sagada and do the adventure caving and hiking. The side trip in Banaue is also a blissful experience.

On to Banaue - January 4, 2008
We decided to take the Banaue - Bontoc - Sagada route in order to reach Sagada. In doing so, we took the bus trip via Victory Liner in Kamuning at 10:45 PM towards Banaue. It's a 9-hour drive which had 2 or 3 stop overs in Bulacan, Nueva Vizcaya and Lagawe. The trip is quite long and really tiring. Nonetheless, we arrived at Banaue around 7 AM. On our way up, you can feel the cold chill inside the bus so you'll know that you're up and far away from the city.

BANAUE - January 5, 2008 Arrival

First impression of Banaue (town proper), was a bit old I thought. It's a small town with lots of local people. We saw some group of tourists as well going to Sagada and some are planning to do their adventure trip in Banaue first.


Banaue is famous for the world-renowned rice terraces built by our forefathers. It was an amazing feat for men to build rice plantation alongside the sturdy and fierce mountains of Cordillera. The rice terraces in Banaue were recognized by UNESCO as heritage site. In Banaue, you will have to visit all of the main points there is to see.

Since Banaue is not our main destination, we just contented ourselves with the view of the viewpoint #7 where you could see the rice terraces. It's one of our side trip on our way to Sagada.


TIP: Going to Sagada, local jeep trip to Bontoc leaves daily at 8:30 AM and then from Bontoc you take another jeep ride to Sagada. Be aware that sometimes when jeeps are all full in capacity you might have to rent the next jeep. According to the locals, only one jeepney trip goes to Bontoc from Banaue. So you really have to make it there in Banaue by 8 AM.

The Mt. Polis - View of amazing Cordillera mountains
So, it's given that our group had to rent the jeep for Php 2,500.00 'cause we were left behind by the local jeep. The only good side to renting the jeep is that we had stop overs which took us to different points along the way to Sagada. First stop was the VIEW POINT # 7 and then second stop is the MT. POLIS view.

I don't actually know why it's called Mt. Polis. Nonetheless, it's quite thrilling to see the mountains of Cordillera. The green view, the astounding sunlight striking the misty clouds.

On this stop over, we had the chance to take some photos with the large statue of the Virgin Mary erected in the Mt Polis vicinity. We even had the chance to see some vegetable plantation terrain.


Bay Yo Rice and Vegetable Terraces


Third stop on our way to Sagada was the Bay Yo village. It had an amazing view of the village and the rice terraces along the side as well as the vegetable plantation.

Going down further the slope, you can see the wild river cutting through the mountains. It's really amazing to note that in these vast array of mountain ranges you will find villages sprawling. These are like hidden civilizations that are far from the spoils of the urban jungle.

Bontoc - town proper
It's getting late in the afternoon when we passed by Bontoc town proper. From this point, it will be another 1 hour before we reach Sagada proper.


Bontoc is a small town, complete with the basic elements of a progressive community. I saw life and progress taking place in that area. I saw beautiful concrete houses in the middle of the rice fields which led me to think that the people of Bontoc are not mere ordinary locals. They have something to brag and to be proud of. They were vibrant, fresh looking and you'll be surprise that they know how to converse in English. Well, this is the same with the rest of the locals in Banaue and Sagada.

As we go out of the town proper, we passed by Bontoc Rice Terraces which is so fresh and green. It's one of the good view of Bontoc where you will see the wild river running down the slopes of the mountain nourishing Bontoc and it's people.


SAGADA - Final destination
After a long hour of drive and stop overs, we reached Sagada around 1 PM on January 5, 2008. The road trip was tiring so we asked the jeep to take us to Rock Inn and Cafe where we checked in. It's a place far from the town proper where you had an amazing view of the mountain mist, orange orchard and cool feeling of the wind blowing peacefully.


My friends and I are quite tired so we freshened up and draw our itenerary from that point. We decided to just refresh, then hike towards the town. By 3 PM in the afternoon, we were hiking towards the town proper in anticipation of seeing the town first hand.


Along the way to the town we passed by houses and inns. We also passed by Masferre's Photograph museum. We also passed by Sagada Weaving house. After 30 - 40 minutes of hiking we reached the town. We first looked for the Tourist Information Center in order to inquire about the places we can visit. We also had to register in the tourist center. We paid Php 10.00 each for the registration. In the tourist center, we were greeted warmly enough and we inquired. From there, any tourist of Sagada can get a great deal of information to help them go around the places. There is a map being sold for Php 25.00 that will show you the places you can visit. Also, the tourist center has the information to help you get tour guides and transportation.

Our first day in Sagada is coming to an end. By 6 PM, it starts to get even colder. Our group, decided to just inquire more on some accommodation 'cause we decided to transfer from Rock Inn to the town proper on the second day. After inquiring, we went to Log Cabin, one of the famous eating places recommended by a friend. Every Saturday, with advance reservation, they have French Buffet which is only costing around Php 300.00. We were unfortunate 'cause at that time the reservation is already full. So what we did is reserve for Sunday dinner preparation but this time it's no longer buffet.

Our group ended eating in Masferre Cafe and Restaurant. The food was good tasting. It was freshly prepared especially the salad and vegetable meals. We had dessert at the famouse Yogurt House later that evening.

It was getting late so, we headed back to Rock Inn to turn the leaf for the day. On our day 2, we have lots of things to do.

SAGADA - Morning Hike From Rock Inn - January 6, 2008
The morning in Sagada is indeed a chill. I could remember that at the earliest morning hours I woke up with headached due to cold temperature. It was 6 AM when our group got up and headed for some hiking experience.

Hiking is one of the to do things in Sagada. If you have lots of hiking experience, you'll love it there in Sagada. In the first hour of the day, our group warmed up by strolling around the Rock Inn vicinity. The place is far from the town proper. It has a big space, orange orchard, and quite far from the main road. The inn is an ideal place for short term hiker.

After our group had initial hike, my friend RJ and I earlier planned to hike and discover the famous Bokong Falls.

Bokong Falls - "Small Falls"

From Rock Inn, we hike for around 20-30 minutes. Good thing that the inn is near the vicinity of the fall. Since it's morning and the temperature is quite cold, it was a very good hiking time. Literally, our bodies warmed and sweat so we had to open our jackets to make the sweat evaporate.

After some minutes of phase walking, we reached the falls. The way to Bokong Fall is not that hard. You'll pass by a small road on your way there. And then on a small wooden gate there's a trail that leads to the fall. On your way to Bokong Falls you'll hear the water rush and you have a good view of the nearby rice field. It's truly awe-inspiring.

We reached Bokong fall and took pictures. I even had the chance to play in the cold water. It's blood rushing and exciting.

We headed back to the inn and had our sumptuous mountain breakfast. We checked out of Rock Inn and planned to move to the town proper. We transfered to Sagada Resthouse which is nearer the tourist center where we would need to get our tour guide and transportation to take us to our next destination.


Two Burial Caves and Sumaging Cave - January 6, 2008
It was around 10 AM, we headed to the tourist center and ask for assistance to take us to Sumaging Cave. In the tourist center, any tourist would find help and information. It's quite easy. The locals know how to converse in English so it's easier for them to talk and explain everything.


We left the town proper and headed to the Sumaging Cave. But before we read Sumaging, we had two stop overs. Two burial caves that local tribes used to use during the early times.


We also passed by Sagada Rice Terraces. During this time of the year, the rice terraces is not so aesthetically appealing. It's not yet planting season so it's not all green. Nonetheless, it's quite nice to see the beautiful rice terraces of Sagada.

The road to Sumaging cave is about 20 minutes drive from the town proper. Alas! we reach Sumaging Cave point.

Sumaging Cave adventure


Inside the cave you will see interesting cave patterns. At the first portion of the cave it's not so interesting but there's a pungy smell in the air due to the shit drops of the bats inside the cave.

You have to wear mojo sandals or good shoes to protect your feet. But at a point, you will have to take off your footwear because you will have to get wet as you go futher down the cave.


There are so many interesting rock formations inside the cave. They were formed several years ago and it continues to grow as the age goes on.

At the middle portion of our spelunking we started to hear the water rush and true enough we witnessed clear water rushing down. At the end of the cave road, we are experiencing cold water.

The Sumaging cave is indeed one of the best cave I ever had the chance to go inside in.


SAGADA TRIP ETCETERA

We had our last few adventures in Sagada after Sumaging. There's the famous lemon pie. Also, the ever famous food of Log Cabin. Too bad, we didn't had the chance to partake in the French buffet they offer every Saturday night. But then again, Sunday Log Cabin dinner is one of the best served dinner I ever tasted.


There are so many other interesting points in Sagada. We need to go back here and continue the adventure. Soon!


SAGADA going back to MANILA
On your way back to Manila, you can opt to take two routes: SAGADA - BONTOC - BANAUE - MANILA or SAGADA - BAGUIO - MANILA.

It will be up to you which route. Either way you will enjoy the experience. Happy trip!

WHICH HARRY POTTER CHARACTER AM I?

	You are part Harry. You're a loyal and courageous friend. You'd do anything to protect the people you love, especially if it'll get you a break from class for a little while.
	You are part Hermione. You're a bookworm always in search of answers. When pressed, however, you can always be counted on to put away the books and help your friends.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

WHAT KIND OF GUY WILL YOU FALL FOR?

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?
	You would fall for the geek. If you're looking for love, consider spending a little more time studying up in the library. To you, there's nothing more attractive than intelligence, shyness, and kindness; your future love may have four eyes and zero social skills, but he'll make up for it in brains and heart.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

MY HEROES' PERSONALITY TEST

Your Score: Simone Deveaux

You scored 50 Idealism, 50 Nonconformity, 33 Nerdiness

You think you can paint the future. Fine, paint one without me.Congratulations, you're Simone Deveaux! You are a loving, dedicated person with a variety of creative interests. You may however, fall in love a little too easily. Your best quality: You are a romantic Your worst quality: You are a romantic

Link: The Heroes Personality Test written by freedomdegrees on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

So I write again

I write again.

Here I am, sitting in front of my desk. I had an itched to visit my old blog here and was amazed of the many pieces I've excreted from my juicy brain.

For quite sometime now, I have not been posting some thoughts here on this address. I've managed to maintain some of my thoughts through the other address I have in Friendster.

While I've had so many links created on this site, I opted to revive my link here and set another Blog.

I write again as I would like to call my new blog. I write again for it is my first love. It's not that I stopped writing, but only because I just wanted to lie low a bit. But like any good writer, I did not stop writing.

The world is wonderful and life is so big not to write about it. So I chose to write again.

INDEPENDENCE DAY SPECIAL: Confuse Filipino

PGMA and her allies are in big big trouble lately. So what is new? The Filipinos are always hounded by political instability and turmoil. Since the time when the 2nd World War, this country is always in the running field but it never came to a point that it reach some point of progress.

Back then, the world was recovering and so the Philippines is like one of the best countries. As they said, we were more advanced than our neighboring countries before. The effect of American colonization on this country has certainly affected the lives of many people. Good and bad, the American presence to this country was something...

Philippine Independence day is just a couple of days away. Looking back and being a Filipino, I am in such big question why this country never really made it big in the world in terms of economic stability & political maturity.

So many ideas are lurking inside my head as to why and what is the reason behind Philippines rise and fall so to speak. Filipinos as they said lack the discipline, they have strong regionalism, overly religious belief, high streak crab mentality and ever rising brain drain are some of the obvious answers that I could think of.

I am in big trouble perhaps because as part of this country, I am not in a secure situation. I am not fully enjoying the good life, the good society, the progress.

If we will only learn. Well, that is what I can say. Many of us are always complaining and trying to destroy the reputation of somebody just to grab power and success. That is one Filipino behavior that has been with us for so many years now. Sad to say and as truth really hurts, this behavior kept us hanging on the drain hole.

Moving forward, I must say I am not a good citizen of this country. Why? Because like most people, I complain, I don't feel the sense of nationalism that most advocate of nationalism would feel. I am not very supportive of the government for I have always put a negative connotation to its governance.

Oh well, as of this writing I cannot think of something good to end this expression....my mind is in limbo and so many thoughts are coming inside my head. Mixed expressions and thoughts about my beloved Philippines....

In short, maybe like most Filipinos, I am confuse and I do not know what direction I should take to live my life as Filipino citizen. At the same time, I am dissatisfied with what my life has turned out to be in my country, like how the Philippine economy had been going through UPS and DOWNS. So much for this...

With that, I can only, "Mabuhay pa din ang Pilipinas! Kasihan nawa tayo ng pagpapala ng Diyos at Kanyang pagmamahal."

SERYENG TAGALOG : Kay Haiku730

Liwanag sa aking madilim na pananaw
Magiting na kabalyero ng aking buhay
Isang makisig na kasama
Tunay na sa akin ikaw ay mahalaga Mahal kita...

Tanglaw sa aking landas
Isang lakas na bumubuo sa aking nanghihinang diwa
Masarap kasama, mainit at nag-alab
Tunay na sa akin ikaw ay mahalaga Mahal kita...

Walang sinuman ang aangkin sa iyo sa akin
Labis na ako sa iyo'y nahumaling
Tapat kitang iibigin, iyong kalinga'y aking nanamnamin
Tunay na sa akin ikaw ay mahalaga Mahal kita...aking sinta!

SERYENG TAGALOG (Tuloy-tuloy lang) : Sa isang sulok ng asul na hinaing

Nais kong mabuhay kasama kayong lahat sa isang kahariang walang sakit at lumbay. Nitong mga huling araw ako ay dumadaan sa isang kritikal na pagkakataon. Muli ako ay sinusumpong ng takot, ng pangamba at pangungulila.

Ako'y waring isang nawawalang kuting na natatakot sa kung anong kahihinatnan ng lahat ng mga nangyayari sa akin nitong mga huling araw. Sa katunayan nga lang, hinde naman ako nababahala ng lubos na ako'y mawawalan ng trabaho sa susunod na mga araw ngunit ako ay nag-iisip kung anong maganda kong gawin upang ibsan ang napipintong tagtuyot sa aking buhay karera.

Ako'y tila isang inakay na nangangambang di na ako datnan ng aking ina sa aking pugad dahil baka ako'y kainin na ng kalaban. Sa katunayan ang aking pangamba kahit paano ay nagpipilit humulagpos sa aking katauhan. Sari-saring paraan ng pagsasaya ang aking ginagawa para lamang kahit paano ay maging maayos ang pagtingin ko sa lahat ng ito. Hindi ko naman ito tinatakasan pero nais kong maging balanse at normal lang itong aking buhay sa kabila ng lahat.

Ako'y tila isang babae na naghihintay sa pagbabalik o pagdating ng aking minamahal. Ilang buwan na ng lumisan sa aking piling ang isang mahalagang tao sa aking buhay pag-ibig. Mula noon di na ako naging normal. Hinahanap ko ata ang katangian niya sa ibang mga nakikilala ko sa aking paglabas at pagbisita sa internet. Ewan ko ba, sadyang alam ko ngayon na ako'y nabulid sa kanya at kung kaya sa pagkakataong ito hinde ko na din nakikitang masaya ako sa pagpunta punta ko sa mga bahay aliwan o sayawan kung saan ko maaaring makilala si ginoo ng aking buhay.

Ang internet sa ngayon ang siyang nagbibigay daan upang makausap ko ang aking Marso at siya'y makapiling subalit hinde ito kasiguruhan para sa amin. Kaalinsabay nito ang pagdating ng mga ibang buwan ng kakisigan na aking nakakausap at nakakakilala ng personal. Kung minsan naisip ko ayos lang makipag-usap at makipagkilala sa ganitong paraan pero hinde din pala lalo na't nagkita na kayo at lahat ng hinahanap mo o hinahanap niya ay di nagtugma sa gusto niyo. Ito'y nagiging isang kabaliwan at kabalintunaan na lamang. Masakit din minsan kasi nararamdaman mong ito na sana pero hinde pa pala. Siya na sana pero hinde naman nagtatagal at nawawala din.
Pangungulila at paghahanap ng sandigan at kakapitan ang aking nais na maayos sa susunod na araw. Pagod na ako, masasabi kong ako'y sobrang pagod. Nais kong lumigaya ngunit di sa paraang sandali lamang ang dulot o hatid na pakiramdam.

Sana sa isang sulok na asul, masabi ko din na di lang hinaing ito kundi kasiyahang kwento din minsan pa ang aking maibahagi sa inyong lahat...

JT

Out of the blue expression: Sleepless Night

I was gasping and basically in the restless mood last night. I enjoyed a good dinner, farewell party for a Malaysian friend. It was a good night, fun and delightful at some point. We all headed for home before midnight strikes.

At last, at home, I get to enjoy the warm bed on a warm humid night. I slept for almost 3 hours and suddenly I saw myself in pain, in an uncomfortable feeling, in a very confuse state. Dreaming or for real? This is the question that I asked myself. It was like I am awake but also asleep. It was like, I am lying down but also up.

Finally, I stood up and it was like a relief. A freedom that I desire from the sleepless night that I am experiencing. I am very tired. I am at the same time reflective of the situation that I just saw. I saw what I cannot really describe and devour. I am in confusion maybe. My brain has been processing a lot of thoughts lately and perhaps last night it all burst out.

I've had been in many sleepless nights in the past, but last night I felt it was such an extra sleepless night. In 7 months, I have always been very comfortable with my situation. Maybe the changes that I am about to encounter soon is making me look back and think much.

Sleepless night...

Out of the blue expressions: Long Weekend Aftermath

I am blessed to live my life this past four days. YES! Why?!

I spent the long weekend mostly with my family. We had a reunion so to speak and turned out to be a spontaneous effort to go out of town all of a sudden. These kind of things seldom happen due to our busy skeds and separate lives. But this long weekend experience is something worth writing right now.

I am perhaps looking for the strength and support that I can master from my kinsmen. I am losing my grip and my told these past days as I enter a new career crossroad which is also being hit with occassional love worries. The long weekend gave me enough time to reflect and think of what I must do with my life once again. A new level of awareness that I need to shuffle within my energy field so that I won't lose my track was ignited. My time with my family helped me a lot.

On the other side, I will be honest to say that the long weekend was also quite a bore, come to think of it. I missed my chances in going out with my friends and party. I opted to be on the side for these past 4 days so I paid for it. For a while, I detached my self from the scene thinking I may get something new out of family "thingy" experience. There was no regret to a minute that I was with them. It was a pleasant , simple experience and well grounded.

I am thinking now. I am wishing that after this storm, I will be able to decide clearly on my next move. I wish I will be stronger and more secure. I wish I will be able to find the love and career/company that is right for me. I wish I won't ever have to argue with my tatay again in terms of planning my life. I wish I won't have to succumb to the pressure of others just to have a good life. I really wish my life will be better and better each day with less pain and more happiness.

Light footed elf

I told my elf, "ang tagal ng araw ng pagsasara .. gusto ko ng mamahinga..at makapag-isip ng tama sa mga susunod na araw... i am afraid to decide on things right now..lahat ng aspeto.. alam mo dahil dun puro pagsasaya lang nasa isip ko..puro mga panandalian pag aaliw na kumakain sa purchasing power ng bulsa ko ... bad side and good side of everything..hay!"

My elf, my confidant..and sometimes I'm her confidant. Well, it's seldom in life that we find a good natured person to talk to, to laugh with, to chat with and to hold on. This elf, light-footed elf is one great person to know.

She is vulnerable at times, quiet but with a great deal of substance that everyone may appreciate if they only know how.

Too bad, we're not "talo" haha she's a sister to me! She's a hag that any guy of my style can ask for more. Thanks for your endless words of wisdom. Truth hurts and it really hurts to hear most of your sermons about life, maybe because you have experienced more of life than I am since your the eldest of our fabolous quartet!

Oh well, this is the good side of having to lose a job soon and having to do less work while in the office as I await the last day of this warm, yet cold office. I get to look at my other correspondence which I find less time dealing with when I was busy at work.

"When things are in their best shape, we tend to forget the most important factors in our life that truly make us whole."

Out of the blue expression: The release

Finally, am free of another bondage. Yes! It's official my current office is closing down. No! Am not in total celebration thinking that I am gonna lose my source of income, this isn't going to be very easy especially if I don't find a suitable replacement soon.

My career path has always been so derailed. I am not sure why I have not been so lucky finding my near to ideal, perfect company. I enjoy what I do as an IT professional but I have not been in good fortune to find the stable, secure and inspiring office that I seek.

As this chapter of my career comes to an end, I am in bliss to think that I still learned a lot from this recent experience. I met new friends and certainly I would like to keep them in the long run. In every company that I was with in the past 5 years, if there's one good thing in these experiences, it would be the skills that I learned and the friends that I earned. Nobody can take these and them away from me.

Now, I am moving forward. I am happy, 'coz, I am relieved from the pressure of work. I am sad, 'coz I am going to start all over again. But this is life for me, an endless pursuit and challenge. I always feel battered but then I also feel blessed. This is my life. This is how it has been. I am glad that I live, got no regrets but moments of sentiments at times. But this is my life, my ever colorful life.

Cheers for me! Kudos..Praise! God bless me on my journey! So mote it be!

Out of the blue expression..again!

Tuesday...Choose your day!

Just here in my office, trying to figure out a way to let myself go out of boredom. I practically woke up on a bad day light. My head aches and it really slowed me in the process.

As I write and make my self productive, my mind seem to float and wonder on a dreamy mood. So much so that I am sleepy here, I found my self contemplating on the issues of career and love life. YEAH! Can you believe that? I have a career and a not so good love life which I am so eager to resolve but I don't know how.

So much for that reflection...YAY! I am really bored, sleepy, feeliing tired and lazy. I hope the day at work ends now. I just wanna linger around and not concentrate much on work.

Out of the blue expression

It's another ordinary Monday! I spent my time, my day in the office and practically did not do anything much. In any case, I had the whole morning 'til lunch today outside of the office.
One good thing perhaps is that when I arrive at the office there's less work to do. Heheheh
From time to time it is quite nice to be bum in the office.

Later today I spent my day on the net. And by break of the evening, I managed to snatched 2 free tickets for the advance screening of Closer at the Powerplant. So cool and quite engaging this evening for me. I spent it all alone. The friends I invited to join me see the movie are all not available.

I loved Closer, it reminded of my creativity as a writer. The writer of the story inspired me to do something like that in the future. A new friend, recommended that the movie is quite good and he did not fail me. Salute to him!

I am tired and bored now... practically wasting my spirit here in front of the sad monitor. I am also sad and out of the blue my expression series is back officially!

Good evening!

Resurrection is the name of the game

HAPPY EASTER?

I am blessed to have experienced another Holyweek special. This year it was not the usual celebration.

I commemorated this occassion in the company of my family, friends and later by myself.
What is more striking about this is the fact that I, right now have been undergoing a lot questions in my life once again. Personal life and career life has always been on top of my concern. Sometimes I worry too much to a point that I am overwhelmed. This is probably not good 'cause I tend to break down.

This lenten season proved to be different from the past lenten celebration. This came in parallel with the commemoration of my lola's death anniversary as well as my mom's. It is really a time of change. I know it's been 2 years when both of the two special women in my life passed away. Their influence and memory on me still lingers on up to this very moment. This is a good thing 'cause I keep myself on the ground. So this season of holiness did not only led me to observe kindness but also it gave me time to think about them, my mom and my lola. I missed them and that is why I felt a bit sad during the last two days of this holy week commemoration.

Happy Easter! New life, new hope that symbolizes the sacrifice and the love of Jesus for mankind. I certainly have no reason to fret because this past week is a good week. Changes took place and it is not really easy but I have to bear the time's command over it.

I do hope once again, after these days of reflection, merritorious moments and meditative contemplation I will be able to soar high and focus on my goals and be the best of what I can be.

I am resurrected!

An expression of love and hope : 3 weeks love affair

3 Weeks Love Affair

I never imagined in my life that someone will come and go just that so easily. The hardest part of course is letting go and moving on.

At first the act was just like a play and flirtation but this turned out to be something more than I expected. We clicked and we find instant connection in our first meeting. Literally, we jived and everything fell into its proper place. I guess at some point both of us love the idea of being together and be with each other's arms. The sincerity and the care for each other I felt in and out.

I am thankful to the Creator for this. I am not bitter that this romantic connection just ended like this with no proper confirmation.

It's quite not easy to have a long distance love affair. This is the reason I did not entertain much the thought of us being partners. I am happy and glad to share my piece and my thoughts. I felt special in many ways as well. It is such a thrill and something unexpected. I have not experience this kind of treatment from anyone in long while.

Indeed, this short romantic flick was a blessing. Indeed a big motivation for me to dream more and achieve more.

In all these good sides, there's just some part of me that felt I am once again all alone. Alone in a sense that I am on my own, no partner, no instant inspiration, no instant companion who will like me and love me as I am . Once again, I am dreaming that someday the right person will come along and will never leave my sight again.


....the promise,
I love you and I need you, if it is our destiny to be together it will happen I suppose. I will try hard to do my best and follow you there. I hope by that time, I am not so late to have you back in my arms again.

A Valentine Offering

Dearest Cupid,

Greetings to you! I hope this letter reaches you in time for valentine. I have always been in search for love. I would really say and dare I have been pricked, hurt and devastated because of past heart aches.

Valentine is near again. Many and if not all will feel the rush of finding their perfect partner or as they say the right one. Oh Cupid...perhaps I am one of the many. At this point in time, I am single still. Yes! You are not mistaking, I though I have found the right person but it prove to be not. I love him so I set him free. I cannot tie him down to my side if it's not me that he loves. At a point he said to me I am a potential yet moments came and time passed by, we lost the feeling that was once ignited.

Cupid, after that experience I am once more in vague. I knew that I still have feelings for this man, but that has diminish to a degree now at present. I am dating, meeting and guessing at this point. I hope you can carry me and help me find the right one. I don't wanna get hurt again. In my search and long journey, I have been down. At this point, as much as possible I want to experience the happiness that love can bring and not the sadness that it might incur for me.

Cupid, you are the maximizer of love. Yes, it seems that you tend to hit your arrow of love to couple who doesn't seem to care about each other at first but with your poisonous arrow you can turn them into romantic couple. I am so open now, hit me and hit the person am seeing now. Or in perfect timing, may you be there to shower us with love bubbles to ignite our thoughts, care, passion and affection for each other.


This is quite long now. I hope you could shed some light in my dark shadowed heart.

Sincerely yours,

JT

Tired

Today, after a long weekend and a good time spent at home in Bulacan I suddenly felt that I am am thinking uncertain....



Last night, Sunday, after just arriving in Makati from the province, I spent some time at our pad and then went out for a Sunday night time out! I went out with a good friend of mine. We basically spent our time in Greenbelt then later decided to take time on net cafe. Well, prior to the net cafe we basically catch up on the events that transpired in our lives for the past days. In addition to this, the most encouraging part is the thrill of talking about our love lives. Hehehe



Well, the night just passed by. Last night I also met with a person whom I thought was worth meeting to the least..but I guess I was wrong. It wasn't a very good timing I must say. I did not feel good about it. I thought that meeting this person could have made a difference somehow from the other meet ups I have made in the pasts.



In short, after almost an hour, I segway to go back to my friend and we went on to continue surfing the net until the early morning...



I went home at 3 AM, then I woke up at around 8:45 AM. Just enough to go to work. BUT! oops, I am not feeling good about going to work all of a sudden. I felt tired and hindered. There has been some uncertainty at work lately, the company status and it's objectives per se is the main concern I have. I enjoy my new work come to think of it. But, I don't seem to enjoy it fully when at the back of my mind I might find myself in the ditch for lack of stability in tenure. I don't know how to assess the situation, my situation, with my company right now. It seems that I have a good future here since opportunities to shine here would be good if the office would just simply be transparent about where we are heading. On the contrary, I feel quite down and uneasy.



How I wish I could disspell all these negativities in my mind. I have long for a stable job and a good personal life for so long now. 2005 is such a new hope for me...after going through a lot these past 3 years. I can only think now that I must be ready to face any consequences that lies ahead of me. Life is a journey indeed. But then, I couldn't help but think why my journey has always been not so smooth.



I am tired.

Not in the mood as I write

It's a new year once again. I am back here in the office. It's a start of a new work. The holiday vacation is over.



The vacation was cool and full of good celebration. I basically spent the time with my kinsmen and friends. For me, all these are worth while celebrations.



Yet! Now it is 2005...suddenly am not in a good mood. I was trying to find a reason to this abnormality within my mind. My mood shifted to a considerable extent. Which I really don't like feeling.



I am perhaps on the right track though. What I need perhaps is a dose of inspiration from my higher Being. A swirl of positivity that is dissipating or has lowered down. I need a boost!



I am certain that I am in a good direction. I don't intend to lose my way now. I can't afford to fall right at this point. I do hope as I express myself here, I will find the reason to feel good and happy again.



There's so much going on again in my head and my tolerance is shaking to a point where I cannot bear it. This is a year of new hope for me and achievements. As far as I am concern, I want all my goals and end be achieved. The question is, "Will I survive?" The answer that I'd like to say, "Yes! With Flying colors!"



Head up and be proud!

2004: My declaration ; 2005: My achievements

Life has always been an exciting ride for us all. It is exciting in the sense that we all experience a lot of things, good and bad, in our so called lives.



Last 2003, I went through a change. And now, 2004 I faced the reality within myself. I am speaking in terms of career path, family life and personal life. Indeed, I can consider myself a life surfer who has given a lot of spice to my close environment.



Looking back on this year and now as I am writing I can say that in general this was a very good year for me. Most of my goals and most of what I want to do in the beginning days of this year transpired to a considerable degree.



January 2004, I ended my stint on my 2nd job of almost 3 years. This decision has already been declared last December 2003. There was no regret on my part doing this decision. For I was ready to leave and pursue a different career direction in writing.



I am successful in a way to try my luck in the field of writing. I met a lot of people, considerable beings who gave me the chance and the support to pursue my goal to write.



Almost 2 months after my resignation, I found myself working in an international NGO for peace. I was like into an apprenticeship program here. The experience was good and really enriching. I helped my superior here to finalize his self-authored book about peace. Though as enriching as the experience is, my stint on this I-NGO was short. I need not elaborate what happened but basically I ended my work here formally. During this period, as an aspiring writer that I am, I had to decide if I will go back to my work in the IT industry and pursue career in writing on the side light. This crossroad I had to deal and was able to cross later on.



Around March 2004, I went back to where I first belonged. I found a good career offer as an IT professional for a mobile content provider. My first job, back in 2000 is somewhat similar to this. I was excited and was really in high spirit when I joined this company.



Truly, in any arena there is a mixture of positive and negative. My second work for this year alone proved to be a challenged. As exciting as the skills that I can learn in my work here, competition and intrigue came along . I am lucky to have stayed for 6 months in this company. It's not that I was intolerant of the situation, but I knew very well that the company is not running well. As I write this, the last that I heard of about this company is not so good. I opted to find a better pasture and that was perhaps a good decision as far as my career development is concern.



The 2nd quarter of this year led me to experience some personal realizations as well. Given my present career moves at this point, I also went through some life changing upheavals. A blast from the past, someone I knew four years ago came back. It was not planned, both of us , perhaps never did plan this to happen. But for some unknown reason, we were driven back on each other's arms. The reconnection was something I did not imagine can happen, but it did. At some point I felt bliss and happiness being with this angel.



Like any beautiful romance or sweet stories, this experience proved to be a bitter pill to swallow as well. All the hopes and laughter turned gray and sour. Things did not end well between us.



Going through this experience, I had to bear myself so heavily. I stumbled so hard to my knees. I came to a point where I almost gave up my work and retreat back. I made some bad decisions and have tried harder.



I am not so good in dealing with matters of the heart. 2004 is career and love combined for me. I experienced transformation within myself this year. I accepted my real self and have come to share this with people that came close to me. I met new friends and had maintained close relationships with them. I continued to keep my old connections and basically have managed to make my circle of friends grow. These people, including my kinsmen, were the only shield and thrust that supported me.



As I undergo career upheavals and love turmoils, I believe I have become stronger. This year is my self declaration and realization.



I moved along...around July 2004 while am still with the second company...I met someone through friends introduction. I felt good to go out once again. This was the start of my healing from the angel that broke my heart and soul to a degree. This second love pass made me feel good about myself. I realized my potential to be a good person who is capable of giving love without really expecting much in return. This for me was good enough to experience basically this did not last like the first one this year.



When I ended this loving experience, I focused my attention to my career once again. I had to rebuild my career path as I confirmed myself. This time am more bold and daring to act. Luckily, time somehow was on my side. I got a call from a company in Makati named Vinciworks. It was on this company I found my new home. I went through the process of selection and was able to pass through it. At this point, I was ready to leave my second job for this year alone. There was no looking back for me at this point. I laid out my last quarter objectives and went through it. Believe me, trying to prove something to yourself, to others and your family is something not so easy to do. My formula? Hmmm ...faith.



September 2004, I am in my new office. This is a new set of work experience for me. I never thought that I can get in here. Somehow the process was kind of tough. And right now, I would say the pressure and the demand here is really something not like in my previous work experiences. I am feeling good about this whole new work experience basically. I felt more secure here.



We have a saying, "Once is ok. Twice is good but experiencing it thrice would be enough!" I was thinking, this is the third work stint I had in a year...and so far the experience is kind of rewarding. There are tough challenges at work and so much learnings that fill my thirst for knowledge and experience. I already have come to a point of realization that I will be more focused here in my third job. This is to avoid the mistakes I had in the past. So far, I think I am doing well.



As I have already mentioned, 2004 is a combination of career and love for me. This article won't be complete if I won't include my third love encounter. At this point where my career seemed to have stabilized, I found myself eventually falling again with someone I came acrossed with through friends.



Cupid hit me thrice this year and the third arrow proved to be poisonous as well in the end. I would like to believe that I found my love in this person but time was not on our side. Also, this person never had the strong feeling towards me. At a point, we kind of had the moment and the connection but things got diverted by other forces of nature. I had to let go and accept. I learned from my pasts and be as mature as I can be.



This year is coming to an end. If I will look back on those past months and days and times, I am glad to say that I have live! I experienced a lot of crossroads in my life this year that put me ono the spotlight, where the world is my stage and I am one of the actors. Shakespeare is really a genious thinking it that way.



As I continue, life would be like surfing on the vast ocean of tides. 2004 is my declaration, 2005 will be the achievement of everything I have always wanted to pursue and realize. I will carry on and do it with full intention.



SO MOTE IT BE!

Somewhere in my recent past...I wrote this..and now I think am ok?

There's this quote, “Sa pag-ibig, masakit mahulog sa taong ang tingin sa iyo ay kaibigan lang…Pero mas masakit na malaman mong mahal ka niya ngunit dahil sa pagkakaibigan…Pilit niyang tinatanggi.”



To clarify though, I don’t have any bitterness against anyone for that matter in my heart right now as I am writing this. But I cannot hide the fact I am ailing and in pain to think that my good friend, someone I love and have come to adore has break in the news into my face...I think what I was needing was some point of clarity between us, but this seemed to be something that looked like as a goodbye to what ever future we might have.



“Friends lang muna tayo…napaka spontaneous ng mind ko. Minsan I feel this way and that way...” These are the words.





I don’t know how I’m feeling right now my friend. It’s a mixture of feelings for that matter. It’s not everyday we get to love someone and have his/her same degree of love be given back to you. If it happens, then it’s probably a blessing. In my case, once again it was not given back. Time was against me once more.



Just recently, I come face to phone with my friend. I’d like to address him to be a friend, ‘coz we really are. But we are friends to a higher level of relationship. We sort of had an understanding. But we sort of had no commitment. What a complicated matter this can be, if you can just imagine.





“I have feelings for you too…but…” These are the words.





I don’t know if I should feel good about it. If he has feelings for me maybe then it wasn’t good enough. I have feelings for him, but I cannot force it into him. He knows how I feel. I don’t want to put pressure on him. I can only give myself to a certain point. It was so hard to hear him say these words to me. Caught off guard I am.





“Please don’t think pinaglalaruan lang kita, kaya kailangan malinaw sa atin ito..” If he is reading this now, I want him to know I am not thinking that way. I met him, probably at a wrong time but never I would be thinking that I was toyed. I found him to be extraordinary, not the usual character seen by the naked eye. That is probably the reason I liked him so much in the first place. I won’t change my thoughts on him as long as he will not give me reason to think otherwise.





“I love you…”



HAHAHAH …that’s all I had to reply when he uttered those words. I didn’t know but what I felt hearing him say those words, my heart crumpled and my mind was thinking and wanting to say to him…”Mahal mo ako bilang ano…bakit kailangan mo pang sabihin…” Like he was reading my mind via telepathy he said again, “I love you friend….I don’t want to lose you.”



At this point I don’t know how to react but I uttered words I can no longer remember now. The conversation was not good enough for me. I told him I don’t appreciate the way he came unto me. I prefer a face to face not face to phone setup. I didn’t know. Probably it’s because I have been into various relationship booboos and the least gesture I would expect someone to do is not to directly come up to me. I don’t know but I am really not solve with that.



In a matter of days, my world will revolve and my life will move along with the tides of life. I still expect, somehow at some peak of tide, Phil and I will find the right time to converge and be together for real. Yes we are friends but this will look like a cliche, won't it. I cannot discount the fact, we both might not end up together in the long run.



This is so hard for me right now, but I am friends with him. I promised to him nothing will change…still this would probably be something that will move us apart. I hope not. I am human and at my phase will get over this feeling I just don't know how. If destiny will give us the reason to go on with our lives separately I would accept, but if I can decide I would like to love him for all my life. I love you…I don’t want us to be just friends If only time can permit..my friend...

SERYENG TAGALOG: LARO

Anong laro ang mainam

Anong laro ang may kagandahan

Ang buhay ay isang laro

Tunay ngang mahirap na laro



Araw araw ako'y sumusugal

Sa isang laro na di ko lubos na alam

Laro ng buhay ang tawag ko dito

Larong walang humpay





Tayo ng makipaglaro

Sa kapalaran at panahon

Laro ng buhay

May pait at may saya

Laro...

....Halika ka na. Sasali ka ba?

For the reason I Flip :-)

This is my version of the song, "How did you know". I entitled it, "I did not know".



I did not really know that I could feel this way again. That is, to like someone and each day care to a higher degree of caring and thinking. Nonetheless, it is such a lovely feeling. I share this to you and soon I hope we can sing it together. :-)



- Jonathan



I did not know



INTRO



I remember so well

The day that you came into my life

You gave me your name

I gave you mine and made you smile



My life started to change

I'd wake up each day feeling alright

With you right on my mind

Made me feel life will work out just fine



CHORUS



I did not know

I needed someone like you in my life

And fill the empty space in my heart

We met at the right time in my life



I'll never forget

When you brought the stars to light up my life

And took all the woes and fears that I had

I guess what I'm really trying to say

It's not everyday that someone like you cross my way

No words can say how much I care for you



(Repeat Chorus)

"Say You Love Me"

"I was looking into the mp3 of my officemate and had the chance to listen to this beautiful Patti Austin original song, "SAY YOU LOVE ME".



It was quite a hit to me. It is so cool to the ear and somehow I was able to relate to the message of the song. Hmmm....it's not really a big deal for me...or at least I don't want to think of that as a big deal. I don't want to assume any possibility 'cause I have always been blinded and had easily fallen in love in the pasts.



Listening to this song, reminded me of the importance of how good it is to feel inspired. Basically, it is the essence. Now, even if I am still not sure if the other party feels the same way as I feel, I could straightly say that it's worth experiencing to feel good for someone.



Now in my busy work day, I was able to deviate and send this one to all who may likewise feel te way that I feel. "-JT



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Don't you know that I want to be more than just your friend?

Holdin' hands is fine, but I've got better things on my mind

You know it could happen if you'd only see me in a different light

Maybe when we finally get together, you will see that I was right

Say you love me You know that it could be nice

If you'd only say you love me

Don't treat me like I was lice, ooh, woo, woo

Please love me I'll be yours and you'll be mine

If you'd only say you love me, baby

Things would really work out fine

Don't you know that I want to be more than just your friend

Holdin' hands is fine, but I've got better things on my mind

You know it could happen if you'd only see me in a different light

Maybe when we finally get together, you will see that I was right

Say you love me You know that it could be nice

If you'd only say you love me

Don't treat me like I was lice, ooh, woo, woo

Please love me I'll be yours and you'll be mine

If you'd only say you love me, darlin'

Things would really work out fine

Say that you love me Mmm...mmm...ooh...ho...ho...

Say that you love me Mmm...mmm...mmm... Hoo...hoo...baby

Would you say you love me You know that it could be nice

If you'd only say you love me

Don't treat me like I was lice, ooh, woo, woo

Please love me I'll be yours and you'll be mine

If you'd only say you love me, baby

Things would really work out fine

If you'd only say you love me, darlin'

Things would really work out fine

If you'd only say you love me, darlin'

Things would really work out fine

Reflective Thoughts with a Good Friend

My good friend and I were talking this morning. We were talking about relationships. She was always the playful, not so serious in a relationship as she would claim to me. She would always meet with men and date them and have some intimacy with them. But in the end, she would not take it seriously. For her, it’s not her cup of tea. Is that the term for it? Oh well.



I, for certain was her opposite. I have been in deep, serious war against finding my love. Finding a friend and a partner whom I could share, complement and integrate with is one thing I think is important to me. I’ve been through a lot of interesting encounters with women and men. I don’t deny that fact now, as I am writing this. It’s all basically the same. I have loved and been hurt many times. Sometimes I grew tired and weary. My work, my style has been affected. In the end, I exert some force to move on and go on.



My friend and I, are opposite in our ideas when it comes to dealing with this love thing. I have always encouraged her to try it out seriously. At the same time, she has encouraged me to try it out slowly and don’t rush. By all means, we share those ideas and in a bit fashion we delight with our own experiences.



Just recently, both of us experienced yet another unforgettable encounter, respectively. This time the only difference is the way she, my friend, has thought of her recent encounter. She said to me that she is now somehow ready to consider serious relationship with this man. Or if I understand it right, she said she is 70% sure she likes the man. I’d say in an instant encounter she felt compatibility with this man. I certainly believe that this can happen. Sometimes this kind of setup tends to be the real ones. But I cautioned her as well to take it slowly as she would always tell me.



As she was in her own experience, I also shared with her my recent encounter. As usual my dilemma was the thought of not knowing if the person that I am seeing is really interested in me or was it all just a play? I had this most peculiar encounter with this man and certainly I would really think that this might just be some adventure. But there are just those elements that cannot be seen by the naked eye that I feel or at least I think I can see through.



I certainly know my feeling for this man. I know I like him and I am interested in getting to know him better. But the only reception that I am receiving from him is vague signal that is confusing on my end. I am confuse, maybe I am just being so excited and overly assuming that we do have a connection not just physically but in other aspect of the relationship. Somehow I do want to think it that way. On the other hand, I also think that I am just the one thinking of it that way.



My good friend said that I should just enjoy the moment. Try to get to know the man and just be myself. At this point, I wonder how far can I go? And how interested this man is to me? I like him indeed. I know probably for a fact that he still has some personal things to consider. Can’t he just say, “I like you too, if you’ll wait for me…” Maybe a clear, solid signal that will assure me that I am not lost.





The point is! In a relationship, there are varied circumstances. Communicating your feeling and saying what you mean is one thing. Assuring someone and being honest is another important matter. Being friends first will certainly develop any serious possibility of a deeper relationship, if both parties are willing to cross this line. In having a serious connection, all these will combine.



For my friend and I. I wish us both HAPPINESS and TRUE LOVE in all its definition. Thanks to you for sharing your thoughts to me and as I to you. Thanks to Nur as my friend’s “1/4 Banana Chip” and to Flip as my “Philbox”, for without them we would not feel this good feeling again. Friends or more than that, we all win this round!

Missing mom

I woke up and think of you

I stand from my bed and visualize you

How I miss you still

How sad I become still

When I think of you



Missing you mom

I do, I really do

Missing you “nanay”

I am, I am missing you

Again, I miss you



I head for work in the morning

I am thinking of the day ahead

Can’t help but miss you still

And think of our times together

When I dream of you



Missing you mom

I am in low key now

I miss your care

I miss your love

I miss your tender touch



I am now in the office

Hoping I’ll get by this day

I want you to know…

I miss you

From a distance…

..to where ever you maybe

I love you!



Your son, your one and only, “anak”…Jonathan

Phil box

A box of full of thoughts

A box full of hopes

A man with good aura

A person with smiling heart



A box not empty on the head

A box not so perfect

A man with capabilities

A person that truly holds definition



This box so full of goodies

This box I got the chance to see

I hope to look more inside

I hope the box will open



And hopefully...the box..

this box, this man, this person

Will be the box where I can

Care and share myself with

With a potential

I fell and got distracted

I cried and ease my pain

I never looked back

I just moved on



I hide and glide

I fly high and set high

When you left

I got tied and I sigh

I got so low big time!



Potentials did came

So much among the crowd

Potentials along my way

I never let them go

So I say, with these potentials I grow



Love life, sex life

These potentials had share

These potentials had claim

They had me and I had them

What a potential feeling it has been!





I hope to seek love

I hope to find light

Experienced forever bliss

and Delight in romance

... with a potential!

Sex and Love

They say sex is part of human living. They say love conquers all. Sex and love combined is the best thing ever they say. How thrilling this statements can be?

When I was young I learned about playing with myself. Which I think most of us had experienced as we grew up. And only God knows, sometimes we are still doing it when the need arises. Self-sex is the fastest way to get around and feed the carnal desire. It's like a fast food chain that offers milkshake or sundae. SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! VIBRATE! VIBRATE! VIBRATE!

When I was in my younger adult days, I knew very well that potential of having the power to execute the physical act of love, sex! By peer influences, by close relatives, by tv, radio and magazines, I learned it all. I even learned sex from my parents. They taught me well by explaining the risk of having sex due to inappropriate circumstances. That is one heck of a balance, while I learn sex is hot, steamy and oh heaven, I learned that it should come with being a responsible person.

My first sex experience is something I won't forget. Though there was no actual penetration and it was all mere cuddling, and suggestive actions I'd say it was the trigger. After that I never forgot about sex. But I never missed one point along this journey. I also crossed path with love.

I've heard a lot of things about love. It's all good and bad, positive and negative! I thought I won't have to deal with such situation but at one point in my life I had to. Up to now, at certain stages in my life I always deal with love situation. The longing for a serious partner, the need for someone that you'll share your happiness and sadness has triggered me to look for love. The love that is known to many. It is not the filial love, not even the platonic love, but TRUE love with someone!

Sex and love is now combined! Or should I ask, love should come with sex. Is it a rule? Yes it is, I say! But the other question, how to have sex without feeling love but lust alone? This is a different kind of thing for that matter. But it does happen, meaning sex without love!

I have always wondered. It is the mystery of sex and love treated at the same time. I guess in my experiences, I never have fully realized the feeling of love but just the physical connection. Now, I am certain I want someone to share my love with and give up my whole being with. It is definite! It is certain! Too much time I have wasted and too much pain I have experienced. I do hope in the nearest possible time I enjoy both sex and love.

As I write and speak out my thoughts (napag-uusapan lang naman) I want to end this in saying ....

"Sex is inevitable but true love may come as the biggest surprise anyone would never expect in time."

Enigma

Am I lost in translation or am I just impatient? I need to unfold the things I have planned to do. I do not know if I am doing ok or not.



I am basically in dire need to do and be my best. But I find it so hard to deal with life. Now, at this very moment, I am feeling a bit depress on thinking of what I have yet to achieve.



Before this, I asked for 2 months. And now, 2 months have passed and here I am.



I have started anew and now I am building my blocks. I do not want to think that I am lost. I may be impatient and now in enigmatic mood. This is probably the most logical and sensible explanation I am conditioning myself to hear as I write. Oh whatever!



Oh life is confusing and so mysterious. May HE be able to give me patience and make me stronger as I develop and pursue the various enigma there is to be answered within my journey.

Thank You

It's not always everyday we find time to appreciate the things in our life. Thanks you...



...for this day. Although it is raining and the sun isn't shining. I got a good career offer enough to make me feel high and hope for more!



...for my inspiration. I'm in bliss because of you.



...for my father. Although we don't really understand each other at times you have stood by me all the time. You have love our family always. Your rewards will come in time.



...for my cellphone. My connection to the world.



...for my friends, new and old. You all have given me something about yourself enough to charged me with positively teeming life force.



...for my enemies, new and old. You made me stronger.



...for my past loves! Well, what can I say?! I am here now, still alive and have realized my full potential.



...for my nanay. I love you and hopefully someday we meet again.



...for my lola. I love you as well. I miss you.



...for my relatives. They are my constant shadow always keeping me in balance.



...for all the material things I have. It kept me beautiful physically, it enhanced my confidence, it dazed me with extreme passion.



There are lot of things, people, places and events that we can be thankful. This is one good timing to appreciate all of those I mentioned. Life is good!

Out of the blue expression

: When will I get your affection :



I saw you seating on that bench

You were with your partner

I was with a friend

We both say "Hello" and that's all



When will I get your affection

How can I have your heart

You have come into my life

And you filled me again with desire



We are now friends

But more than friends I want us to be

I hope in your heart you see me shining

A small sparkle maybe that will warm you



We grow close and have connected now at times

This feeling inside my heart is total craziness

I keep you company now in your despair

You lost him and now you have me without you knowing



You are my someone, my apple of the eye

When will I get your affection

Capture your mind, your heart and spirit

Tell me, when will I get your affection



I hope soon...

Out of the blue expression

All I Ask is Two Months

 

... to pay all my dues

... to seek ways in uplifting my financial losses

... to set my mind again

... to find a better job

... so that I'll be over someone

... so that I can relocate place

... in order for me to rearrange my scrambled life

... to live again

 

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!

Out of the blue expression: Career ...

... is only temporary, love it, hate it but never reject it.



The event of the recent past has moved me once again to reflect this time on a higher rationalized level. Primarily this involves my career decision and style.



And so it started…

When I graduated as a Computer Scientist from a reputable state-university coupled with my high academic standing and self-reliance, my entry to the IT industry was quite fast and promising. I thought it was all easy and that so quick. But it was not. It was all just a tip of the big ice berg.



To cut it short, my first 3 years as an IT professional was so full of personal challenges, work challenges and battles. The real world is indeed competitive and you will meet a lot of ambitious people along the way. Good thing, I know how to deal with such kind of atrocities. Nevertheless, as a personal belief I never enjoyed much about the competition or politics going on at work. While it is true that I can play along with the kind of people that I am talking about in this particular writing, I found it so hard to digest why there are people who would be insensitive just to attain their goal in life.



I myself have a lot of ambitions and goals. Those ambitions are my driving force in life but it never occurred in my mind that I should step on other people’s feet just to achieve my goals. For me it was all just a temporary achievement and what ever we would achieve later will be all gone even with just one snap of a finger.



In my fourth year in the working class, I have put up again a solidified career approach. When this year started I was looking forward to a lot of new opportunities laid before my eyes. Aside from my original work experience I have also focus my mind on attaining my ambition to become a full-pledged scriptwriter. All these things put me on excitement as this year entered. I sacrificed my job that time and took the risk of resigning thinking that whatever happens I will survive.





I survived!



The day after I resigned came, it was such a big freedom. I felt am ready to face new opportunities. I focused on my writing career by taking a lot of shot out there which turned out to be all so worth as an experience. In the end, I ended up finding a career still in the IT industry.



The first two months after I resigned was full of challenges. Primarily the challenge was for me to pursue my long-life passion for writing. During those times, I have to be thrifty in everything. I am happy because I know I am doing the right thing, something that I wanted to do a long time ago.



As I survive the challenge, I also realized that if things are not all going the way you want it then I should try to reconsider my other options.



Shifting back



As much as I wanted to pursue writing, I never had the opportunity to cross path with people in that area. There are some few individuals I met but are not that really concentrated on welcoming me to their world. Some discouraging words did affect me. The prime reason is that while it seems many are rewarded in this career, many other writers who tried their best had died poor and was never really given the chance.



And so I have to reconsider going back to the thing that I have already made my marked, that is in the field of IT. It was quite a fruitful come back. There were lots of interviews, exams and calls which proved that I am made and seasoned. It is just a matter of luck, personal choice and divine intervention that I am finally here in my present work as I am writing this small piece.



The idea of writing is still here. The passion for it has grown even bigger. It is only the universal Power that can determine when and where I will write my first script. Right now, I am taking the small steps towards this end goal. I am here learning to do worthy stuff that is my bread and butter so to speak.



Back to the pit!



Going back to the scene again is one thing. This is like a drama on TV, only this is real. In every work, you will find some good and bad people along the way. These people will be the physical representation of your history.



I am glad to have come back to this setup. The social, intelligent, fun and pretentiously witty crowd that composed the same aggregate I encountered in the first three years of my professional work experience are still here and thriving. The only difference this time is that I have learned from my past and so I am much wiser and more mature in dealing with them.



First lesson, smile and say hello! This is one good step to stay in touch with everyone.



Second lesson, always keep an open mind. The mind is like a parachute, it works well when it is wide open. We only have to be careful about the information that our mind will filter. This will affect our decisions along the way.



Third lesson, don’t go on a straight collision with your aggressor. No matter how good your intentions are in fighting for what is right. You should be very careful on hitting the big bad wolf. As much as possible be plain and simple with your moves but be ready anytime.



Fourth lesson, don’t be too attach with everything. Everything here are temporary and you should not indulge yourself much on it. For all you know, these things (work stuffs), these people will not even love you back even if you do the same kind of thing for them.





There are so many lessons learned here. As I write this small piece, ideas keep on coming. If I don’t stop this would probably be as long as the train of Hogwarts.



As a bottom line, career is everything on its own right. It is not permanent. It is not something we should worship. It is something made out of choice, out of need, out of our own inconsistency and out of our wrong and right doings.



“Love live the working class”

FAST AND FURIOUS

Night outs, gigs and galas

Party, party and party

Work and party

Work and play

I am fast living

I am furious becoming



Spending life

Wasting time

Going wild

I am doing fast

I am growing furious



Sing and dance

Party all night

Drink beer and wine

Go tipsy and wild

Life is fast

Life is furious



Sex without love

Casual endearment

Stereotypical imagery

Unconventional way of living

So fast

So furious



When will all these settle

When will these things go lower

As much as it is good

It is also something bad

Fast days of my life

Furious feelings in my life

Seryeng Tagalog (Tagalog Series)

MAHAL PA BA KITA



Ilang linggo na ang lumipas

Naiisip pa din kita

Nagsumpaan walang magbabago

Pero ano ba itong nangyari sa iyo



Ilang linggo na ang lumipas

Ninais ko nang maglayag papalayo sa iyo

Sinabi ko sa aking sarili

Di na kita muling iisipin pa



Ilang linggo na ang lumipas

Bigla kong naisip

Hindi kita magawang limutin

Anong epekto mo sa akin

Ako ngayon ay litung-lito



Maraming beses na akong nangahas

Maraming ulit na akong nagtangka

Ikaw ay iwanan at kalimutan

Pero laging ikaw pa din

Kawawang puso ko, nagdurusa



Mahal pa ba kita

Kaya ako ganito

Mahal pa ba kita

Kaya di ako matuto



Sinabi ko sa sarili

Maling ika'y mahalin

Pilitin ko mang magalit sa iyo

Hindi ko ikaw maiwaglit



Mahal pa ba kita...

Nais ko sanang isipin, hinde na

Nais ko sanang mangyari, huwag na

Mahal pa ba kita, ayoko na!!!

Gusto ko na ng iba!!!

Out of the blue expression: 25 years and 10 days later...

Each year that we grow older and wiser is something worth celebrating.



Before I turned 25, I am such a lost soul. (..oh well, that’s how I thought I am… There were lots of things I need to resolve and accept.



When I come to that point of realizing everything, I readily accepted all those things I thought important. In doing so, I gave high hope for me to start all over again. I actually believed that I am going to be much stronger and wiser. All these were true to a point but it was not all worth it and it proved to be so hard to sustain.



When I celebrated my 25th year, I was battling more issues never before raised in front of me. It was such a quick phase and an abrupt pattern that I realize I am only raising up the level of weariness inside me. Life at any give time is almost the same and it was always ready to give you the best and the worst of things.



25 years and 10 days later, I am older. I grew bigger. I transcended higher. And at the same time, I felt am falling behind. I am still attached and have not fully understood the meaning. So many questions were answered but then a couple of issues remain to be answered.



In accepting the truth about me, there was a sense of fulfillment. In facing my enemies and dealing with them, there was a moment of victory. In caring for others, I felt love grow within me. In serving good for others and finding new allies, I am filled with high spirits. All these happenings were not enough for me to get rid of the other side of life I once was trying to forget. I felt rushed, alone, uncertain, afraid and lost still. I have not faced the big picture.



25 years and 10 days later I evolved but I also have not change. Changes don't come in physical form it should also be in varied aspects of mentality, emotion and spirituality. I realized that I have not fulfilled those other aspects.



A good friend of mine once said to me that she admires my maturity and deep thinking ability. It is such an inspiring thing to hear. Knowing that I am still a lad who must learn, achieve and succeed in all the aspects of life itself, this I believe is in preparation of my eternity.



25 years and 10 days later, here I am sitting, contemplating and composing this out of the blue expression. I am just hoping that after this I am going to feel better and a lot stronger again.

Tired

I turned a year older

I bounced up and down

Suddenly I am tired

So tired and weary



I have lost an angel

Along the way I stumbled

I faced my life again

So tired and weary



When will I find love

When will I find peace

When will I heal

Am so tired and weary



Friends are there for me

I am here for them

But I am tired

And I am weary



I hope to rest

I feel the need to relax

That's what I should do

Forget about everything...

That's making me tired and weary.

The Fast Four Days of my Life

I acted in honesty

I got so clamped down

You had my feelings

I had yours but not deep



I don't wanna wave down

I still wanna go higher

Even if I feel bad

Even if I feel down



So fast is the four days of my life

You throw my heart away

I got burned and washed out

How can I redeem myself now?



You're in his arms now

I am basically tossed and turned

You said we're still friends

I said the same thing



To have realized I like you is one thing

To have learned that I care is something

To face my truth is overwhelming

Those were the fast four days of my life



I wonder now, did I make sense?

I wonder now, have I grown?

Yes! I say! Yes! I say!

Days are faster than normal!

Today Not Even Tomorrow

I'm approaching my silver year. If I were to sum up all my life I wouldn't know if I have reached my top or not.



In the past years of my life I have come acrossed with many challenges and victories as well. During those moments I consider myself tossed in a moment of life's bliss. Good or bad experiences doesn't really say whether a man is a failure or not.



I thought life was easy when I was younger. Although I was exposed to independence at a young age I was able to make both ends meet. When there is difficulty I rise to the challenge and win! Now, my life is more difficult and complicated. The idea of weathering all life's hardships are mere ideas now. It's becoming more complicated and more frustrating at times.



I am searching for my life. I am probably a late bloomer, a person who lived so much in hiding! I think in a way I also have lived my life in the past and have not fully engaged myself in the present time.



Now is the awakening and the realization of my existence. I thank Him for the love and the extra effort He has given to me. I thank my father and my mother for their love and unconditional support. Thank you for all the men and women that have become part of my existence. It's indeed a hard act to understand all my craziness and impulsive decisions.



In my silver year I hope to come out as somebody new. Somebody with a higher learning and more confidence in his abilities. Somebody who can stand up and really take on anybody. Somebody who will introduce himself as himself without stepping backward because he feels a bit low. All these things will be happening. I have explored my life at a greater height for the past 5 years, I have often think that it was a good experience getting to know myself. It doesn't end here, this is just the beginning. The rise of a new eternal being.



Today not even tomorrow, I will be somebody new. People are there to like me or dislike my guts but that's going to be their problem and not mine.

Out of the blue expression : Today and forever ...

It's not always easy to let go of someone you love. It's not easy to let go.



In a not so distant past, I felt again the loving and caring feeling. I thought it was good and hearty. Yet then, I forgot one thing! Our situation, our condition! It's so hard because I can't fight my longings for this person I have learned to love and care about. It's even harder because I don't seem to get the same feeling or affection...



Just one confession here my friend..for a time in my life, I felt ready to face everything. I felt more secure about my stands and beliefs. It was all because of this one hearty creature, a very full of life angel!



"You may have not think about us together, yet I hope we find a way to be in harmony, in twine and in bliss together. "



"I will always keep u here in me! My friend, my love, right now my soul... "



"I won't wait now. I will have to move forward. My feelings are still the same and it has grown stronger. Sorry, I cannot fight for something I am not sure if worth trying or worth fighting. With that I don't deserve your love, your care and your affection. Sorry! :-( I won't look back now but if I do, I hope to find you still right there thinking, looking and welcoming me back into your life...my angel, my truth!"

Killing My Feelings

My love for you

Your love not for me

I cannot take this

I long for you

But there is nothing for me



We are good as friends

So let it be

When I hope to love you

I also hope to forget this love for you

And killing my feelings will make it true



I know you think it is stupid

I hope you realize that I am true

I do care for you

I love you

If you don't, it's ok...





I don't want to say goodbye

Because we never really had the chance

You just passed and went by

You are still here inside me

Just don't go permanently



If killing my feelings

Will keep you near me

Then I' be glad to do it

Just be close to me again

Just don't hide and make me feel down

Out of the blue expression: Today again...

Such a dragging, weakening feeling! I woke up late. I arrived at the office 12PM and yes I got off to a good start. Suddenly, a rush of headache tore me down slowly. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! I hate this feeling.



My head is beating hard. I can feel the pounding beat of a head being ripped with pain.



I can not concentrate and can no longer bear this. What did I do to deserve this pain? Not right now! I cannot afford to miss this time.



It's high enough that I am feeling down these past days. Thanks to my gym workout at least some of my stresses are being release. Yet still I don't want any added trouble. I want to move on and be positively high.



I dream of that day when no more physical pain or emotional downers can tie me down.

Out of the blue expression : Today and so on .....

Today is not a very inspiring day for me. Why? I don't know. This is one of those days when I feel I just wanted to lay my back and relax.



I am at work right now. But as you see, I am busy with my blog. Hehehe In my dire effort to release the work tension I am feeling I guess this is a good shock absorber.



What on Earth am I here for now? Months ago I made a journey to the unknown and I was displaced on this new place. While it's true that new things can bring new hope, it can also be said that the opposite of it can never be forgotten. It's the balance between good and evil. Hay!



What ever am feeling now is just a simple rebound I guess. I am thinking a lot and have not been in focus because of that. Nevertheless, it's always challenging to note that such kind of feeling will always make you reflect on what is happening in your life. I must learn to continue with life and not cling much to the things going around my circle.







...and so on!!!!!

Out of the blue expression: Guardian or Passers By

I have a friend who once asked me if I ever felt the urge to go away and never come back from the usual way of life I have right now. My answer to her was yes. I did felt that way a couple of times and have been feeling it still from time to time. I would presume that all of us feel the same way.



I have another good friend who dared to do his own thing and face life as it comes his way. I admire him for that. He has opened my eyes to every possibility that there is. I learned to think in a more meaningful way liked I would assume he did.



Two different people in my life, with two different view of life but pretty much the same longing or need. How convenient that is for me being in the middle of it all? Seeing them and observing, I learned to pick up some good points along the way. I learned to deal with the things around me in a more composed way.



We all have our friends, buds, acquaintances and loved ones to cling on to when we are in dire need of life support. I came to a point in life when I thought I almost do not have someone. God was good to give me to someone back then. This person brought me to life. Her inspiring moods and soft way of bringing me to light was such a gesture. It was not long though, I had to end it for some good and bad reason.



After her, I became more confident and have long for more possibilities that I can afford or not. That longing was not totally physical but emotional and spiritual in nature as well.



I soon found out more about myself. My questions on why, where and how things are going to be were answered. I met new people as well as old people in my life. They all are coming back while some are just showing up to my sleeves. God has surely made a way for me to seek my answers to all of my questions. These people have become the guardian and passers by of my life.



The greatest guardian ever was God. I asked Him to come with me on this journey. I requested Him to give the needs that I would have to come across with as I prepare to come up with an acceptable term for my life right now. I asked and told Him I need to cross the line so that I could see the other facets of life. I know He has permitted me. I am still not in harmony with my crossover because I have not really solved the mystery. I am still just starting to wander around. I asked Him to bear with me. In my dire effort to seek question He has permitted me to come face to face with someone. My Guardian is good to let me be myself with this person.



Who is this person? This person is my key I would say. The connection was years back but the reconnection happened again certainly. This person was the living testimony that He gave me, I am certain about it. I just do not understand why I have to feel the attachment to this special person. I just happened to know that I got so much to learn from this heaven sent creature that I regarded to be an inspiration and an indication I should not fear life and be bold.



Could it be at some point there are guardians or passers by given to us? As God is the greatest Guardian, could there be people who would bring changes to us and serve as a guardian or passers by in our lives? Up to what extent? I am afraid now that I have grown attached with this earthly dust. My guardian or passers by, I certainly hope to keep the connection, be touched or loved in anyway.

Me and You

It’s the way we make love

It’s the way you make me fall into you

It’s the way you make me feel good

It’s the way you make me smile



It’s the way you faced your life

It’s the way you opened up to me

It’s the way you trusted me

It’s the way you remembered me



It’s all about you

That I have started to like

It’s all about me and you

That I have start to asked



If I felt good being with you

Then is it possible that we may connect more

If you felt that way too

Then why don’t we go through it once more



This time, me and you

This time, just us

Me and you

Until we make it through

I would like to ask you

I would like to ask you

Do I fit into your heart?

Do I make a wave into your mind?

Do you ever think of me in such special way?

I need to know

Because I am dying inside



I think you know that I care for you

I think you know that I like you

I think you know that I want you

It is only you at this point

It is only you at all point



I would like to ask you

Do I make sense with you?

Do I make you feel secure?

Do I make you feel happy?

I need to know

Because I am dying inside



I think I need to know

I think I should know

I think I am entitled to be informed

Where do we go?

Is there a future or …

Should we just keep it low?

I would like to ask you all these

Please let me know.

SERYENG TAGALOG (The Tagalog Series)

IDEYA NG PAGMAMAHAL



Hindi ko kailanman naisip na magagawa ko ang mga bagay na hindi ko madalas gawin sa buhay ko para sa ibang tao. Ngunit ng muling umawit ang aking damdaming yukod sa mainit na kaisipan ng salitang “PAGMAMAHAL” ay muli akong nahulog sa mundo ng walang katapusang saya, sakripisyo, pagbibigay at pagtitiis.



Magpahanggang ngayon hinde ko alam bakit ganito ang pakiramdam ko sa isang tao na masasabi kong naging malaking bahagi na ng aking katauhan. Sana nga lamang ay nababasa niya ito ngayon, sadyang alay para sa kanya at labis kong ikasisiya na malaman niya ang aking naiisip ukol sa aming dalawa.



Mahirap magbakasali sa isang relasyon lalo pa kung sa unang bahagi ng aspetong ito ay masasabi ayos naman ang lahat at walang pressure sa parehong panig. Ngunit kung minsan ang kaduwagan sa hinde pagharap sa tunay mong nararamdaman para sa iyong mahal ay higit na nakakalason sa sarili, sa pakiramdam, sa isipan. Minsan parang mas mainam pang malaman mo agad kung hanggang saan lamang kayo maaaring maging kayo, hinde ba?



Ang ideya ng pagmamahal ay isang malawak na paksa na matagal at paulit ulit ng tinatalakay ng sangkatauhan. Sari-saring kaisipan, kalagayan at katangian ng pagmamahal na ang ating narinig mula ng tayo ay mabuhay. Ang ideya ng pag-ibig ay hinde madaling maunawaan. Kung minsan iyon na pala ang pagmamahal pero hinde pa din natin nakikita or nadadama ito.



Sa buhay ko ngayon isa lang ang tiyak ko. Masarap at masakit ang magmahal. Masarap kasi gusto mo ang mga bagay na ginagawa mo para sa iyong mahal kahit ito pa ay hinde ayon sa pamayanan. Masarap dahil naroroon ang tinatawag na “sacrifice in the name of love”. Sa isang marahas na kataga ito ay matatawag din na kabaliwan sa pag-ibig! Ang magmahal ay masakit din lalo pa kung ang inuukol mong pagtangi ay hinde binigyan ng sapat na atensyon ng iyong inaasam na kabiyak. Masakit dahil hinde ka niya man lamang nabigyan ng puwang. Kung mayroon man, ito ay hinde para maging pagmamahal na higit pa sa pagkakaibigan. Ang sakit hinde ba?



Sa buhay ko ngayon may natatangi sa puso ko. Subalit ayokong isipin kung anuman ang naghihintay. Minsan nababaliw ako sa pag-iisip na baka hinde naman niya nararamdaman ang gaya ng aking pakiramdam ngayon sa kanya. Minsan din, nais ko na siyang tanungin pero wala akong lakas. Ang aking relasyon sa kanya ay hinde tiyak. Ito ay dahil na rin siguro sa walang effort na nanggagaling sa isa’t –isa para kahit paano maging bukas kami sa mas malalim na posibilidad ng isang relasyong higit pa sa pisikal, emosyonal, mental at spiritwal na katotohanan.



Ang ideya na baka “in-love” ako sa posibilidad na maging kami ay hinde ko isinasantabi. Minsan nagkakaroon ng malaking diperensya ang ideya ng pagiging “in-love” at ang ideya ng tunay na pagbibigay ng pagmamahal.



Tinatanong ko ang aking sarili. Ako ba ay saan ngayon nakatayo sa dalawang sanga na ito ng buhay ko? Handa ba ako talaga na sumubok sa aming relasyon? Handa ba akong tanggapin ang lahat-lahat? Hanggang kalian kaya ako magiging matiyaga para sa kanya? Naiinip ka na ba? May pagtangi kaya siya sa akin kahit kaunti o wala naman pala talaga kahit katiting? Ang dami kong tanong, sana masagot kong lahat ito ng tama? Matutulungan kaya niya akong sagutin ito para sa aming dalawa…ideya ng aming pagmamahalan, ano kaya talaga?