Today's lesson

Some lessons or realizations i learned a few hours ago about being in a homosexual relationship. 

1. You either don't have a say about his or her acts ot decision. Plain simple insensitive stubborness...

2. You're not married so you don't get to officially decide for the welfare of each other. The promises you said or committment for each other is simply not as solidified by union of marriage. Asa ka pa!

3. You're still nobody , you're not even blood related so he/she can dismiss your suggestions, opinions, inputs or rants. That's as far as he/she can make you feel if he/she doesn't want to acknowledge your presence.

4. You're probably just into the relationship when he/she thinks it's okay &  that there's always who would understand and be more calm. In this case, maybe call the other person  "walang pakialam" for apparently missing the essence of partnership and even friendship that is to CARE for one or feel CARED about.

5. Each is still  his or her own person & with excuse #2 in line, you cannot push your agenda even if it is for your partner's sake. You may just become the KONTRABIDA to his face if you will push it. So what u can do is just zip you mouth! 

6. "Bakla ako eh!" Maybe true that being gay could be an excuse. But it's rather a Bull excuse to not see that some good intentions are meant not just for the partnership but for the supposed recipient of the intent. It's not being gay that made you as a person who cares, it's being human and it's also human to feel bad when your partner seems to not acknowledge your good intent.

It's just sad that many gay men perhaps will experience the same scenario and they won't find a way to get out of it. 

It may take a one great deal of miracle or big fall perhaps to make someone realize that to be in a relationship with someone gay or not, is bred with  mutual respect and we just have to remind ourselves that we do it coming from a best place within our heart. Sad to say such spirit isn't always noticed as it's clouded by closemindedness.

Defy some demons

I defy gravity. I go against the tides. Some people are not bred to withstand any thing that comes along their way, especially if it's a big hurdle.

I say this because as  person I know there could be certain personalities that each of us will meet in our lives. Take for instance anyone who is close and dear to your heart. That person may agree or disagree with the things that you want them to do and in the long run hurt you more than you hurt them. It is quite lonely to think that there could be things that you need to just let go and not talk about. And maybe sometimes it's best not to discuss those stuffs to avoid further stresses in your situation.

I process a lot and I analyze so deeply anything that goes and comes my way. It is not an easy process for me to do this but it is certainly a learning curve that I will deal with. It's simply because I thrive to live and tend to say to myself , just do what you think is rightful in your heart and believe that the other person will just take care of the situation to your liking. 

It's love. It's hate. It's nothing when you don't feel anything and you don't care. It will be death when that comes. 

Falling for someone and knowing that you are starting to care

... is perhaps one of the best thing that I can say I have never felt in a long while 

...is indeed real when you know that you would be worried more than he/she is if there are almost seemingly obvious reasons to be worried about

... is such a sweet feeling to have because it reminds you that you are human and capable of love

... is very scary too because it's like a two bladed sword where you might get hurt and at the same time be happy! I choose to be happy feeling like this.

... is when you both feel the need to care about what is happening to each others life be it small  pimple or a big wrinkle in life 

... is really one good reminder that you are ready to take another chance not knowing what  may lie ahead for both of you , in good faith, in strong will and high risk .. to be together through thick and think, to love and to hold one another for richer or poorer 

... I say , may it be a good will to see through the future, no obstacles only smooth journeys with the grace of the Universe!