Today Not Even Tomorrow

I'm approaching my silver year. If I were to sum up all my life I wouldn't know if I have reached my top or not.



In the past years of my life I have come acrossed with many challenges and victories as well. During those moments I consider myself tossed in a moment of life's bliss. Good or bad experiences doesn't really say whether a man is a failure or not.



I thought life was easy when I was younger. Although I was exposed to independence at a young age I was able to make both ends meet. When there is difficulty I rise to the challenge and win! Now, my life is more difficult and complicated. The idea of weathering all life's hardships are mere ideas now. It's becoming more complicated and more frustrating at times.



I am searching for my life. I am probably a late bloomer, a person who lived so much in hiding! I think in a way I also have lived my life in the past and have not fully engaged myself in the present time.



Now is the awakening and the realization of my existence. I thank Him for the love and the extra effort He has given to me. I thank my father and my mother for their love and unconditional support. Thank you for all the men and women that have become part of my existence. It's indeed a hard act to understand all my craziness and impulsive decisions.



In my silver year I hope to come out as somebody new. Somebody with a higher learning and more confidence in his abilities. Somebody who can stand up and really take on anybody. Somebody who will introduce himself as himself without stepping backward because he feels a bit low. All these things will be happening. I have explored my life at a greater height for the past 5 years, I have often think that it was a good experience getting to know myself. It doesn't end here, this is just the beginning. The rise of a new eternal being.



Today not even tomorrow, I will be somebody new. People are there to like me or dislike my guts but that's going to be their problem and not mine.

Out of the blue expression : Today and forever ...

It's not always easy to let go of someone you love. It's not easy to let go.



In a not so distant past, I felt again the loving and caring feeling. I thought it was good and hearty. Yet then, I forgot one thing! Our situation, our condition! It's so hard because I can't fight my longings for this person I have learned to love and care about. It's even harder because I don't seem to get the same feeling or affection...



Just one confession here my friend..for a time in my life, I felt ready to face everything. I felt more secure about my stands and beliefs. It was all because of this one hearty creature, a very full of life angel!



"You may have not think about us together, yet I hope we find a way to be in harmony, in twine and in bliss together. "



"I will always keep u here in me! My friend, my love, right now my soul... "



"I won't wait now. I will have to move forward. My feelings are still the same and it has grown stronger. Sorry, I cannot fight for something I am not sure if worth trying or worth fighting. With that I don't deserve your love, your care and your affection. Sorry! :-( I won't look back now but if I do, I hope to find you still right there thinking, looking and welcoming me back into your life...my angel, my truth!"