Just when I thought I was over you

It's always a feeling I can't kill inside. There I see you online today. I greeted you with the spirit of Christmas. I thought I would feel ok but I was wrong. I haven't even forget the times that I thought we can be together. I still reserve a special part of my heart for you.

Thinking how my friends are asking me if I already have someone special, the answer is always no. I guess in the back of my mind I still feel we can be together. But I am not really banking on it. Nonetheless, now, I still can say, "Just when I thought I was over you"

To you my first... I still love you after all these times, after all the experiences I had gone through in my life. The questions of what if, what might still lingers in my mind, in my heart. I can't blame the past and destiny for us not being "one" at heart and mind .. I just don't know. I think you're my failure that I will always bear a lifetime, who ever comes my way, I might not give myself up completely because you took a great deal of my heart and it never was the same anymore.

If there's a heart transplant, I wish there's "love" transplant.

THANK YOU

We always ask and we sometimes forget to appreciate or give thanks for every gift or shower of blessing we received.

This week is thanksgiving holiday here in the US. It's deeply rooted as part of their tradition here and history (research internet for Thanksgiving - why and where it started).

In relation to this American holiday, I just want to take this opportunity to say "Thank you for everything!" .

For every little thing that we shared - from the simplest gift of friendship to the most memorable experience of love, heartache, challenges and trials and triumph!

I am grateful for I have live each day with both feet on the ground and embracing the fact that I have good natured people that surrounds me, who inspires me, who muses me, who supports me, who cares for me, who deeply put me in their mind for they treat me like I am part of their lives as well. I am happy thinking about the fact that there's a lot of close friends, special things and relationships that I could be so grateful for in my life. If we all learn to count some good gifts and blessings every now and then, perhaps we'll enjoy living longer.

There's so many other things I'd like to be thankful for right now. The life I had endured, the life I had experienced, the things of good spirit that I will still encounter ahead.

I am just happy to say "THANK YOU!"

Credit: google image keyword - thanksgiving

MADONNATHON: Sweet and Sticky Concert Tour hits South Florida by November 26

A Sweet Experience

To watch a big international concert artist, like no other than, the queen of pop - MADONNA. is one of my todo items in my life. So this will be mark "Completed" soon! A very sweet experience for me indeed!

I am excited to see her in 3 days from now.Her "SWEET and STICKY" concert tour will happen here in South Florida at the Dolphin Stadium. The stadium is said to seat 75000 people.

An icon eversince

I literally grew up knowing and hearing some of Madonna's songs, and her rise to power of celebrity status. The sounds of the material girl herself will endow me in person and perhaps muse me to live full circle in life.

Madonna's life is sweet, sticky & controversial. These words best describe her life and this is basically what most of us other people are also experiencing in life. So Madonna isn't just a celebrity, she is an icon for most people. An image that looks so colorful yet imperfected with some sticky,sloppy factors. A reminder for most of us that hers is not a perfect life.

Ticket mania!

As early as June, I was able to secure my "Club" level ticket which is relatively giving me a good view of her to the stage.

This November 26, 2008, I am excited to see her in person, listen to her set list which will consist of 23 songs from her early years to present. It is truly a once in a lifetime experience.

Credits to Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sticky_&_Sweet_Tour

Food Trip Series: On a night like this

AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!

So I tried posting this earlier but for some reason it was not save.

But I figure I have to write about this. It's seldom I get to blog about what seem to be a shallow topic but special.

About the story...

So it was Monday night when I drove to the nearest Sedano Supermarket here in my area. For the benefit of my other readers, if you're onshore here in the US, one activity you can do is go for a quick trip in the grocery store and it's really therapeutic but stressful for the pocket. Sarap mag-ikot sa grocery, mamili ng pagkain or any interesting finds 'ika nga.

I went to the grocery to buy canned pineaple for my "Chicken Pinya" but then again I was feeling different. I was actually feeling good to cut to the chase! I felt amuse and decided I wanted to eat two of my favorites - fruit salad and macaroni salad.

Preparing these two dish brought some relief and brought back some memories -

Macaroni ala Florida -

Every New Year our family will always prepare some food to welcome an abundant year ahead. My dad's favorite is Chicken Macaroni Salad. I will miss preparing this in Manila in welcoming 2009. But then again to make up for that, I had the itch to do it now. Simmered with love, good memories of welcoming a new year I prepared this wonderful and classical macaroni recipe. I think every Filipino family likes macaroni as part of their usual medya noche feast.

Classic Fruitty Fruit Salad -

On the same night, aside from the macaroni recipe, I tossed and whipped some cream and condensed milk. I ended up mixing it with a can of fruit cocktail. I recall preparing this dessert every Christmas or any other special occassion in my family. I used to do this with my nanay when she was alive. Both of us love sweet tasting desserts. Mana-mana daw! Sana lang di ko manahin diabetes nya hahaha

Regardless of the fact that my mom doesn't live anymore, I still continue to prepare fruit salad for every occassion. Sometimes I just cook it up even for a simple night or day, just to satisfy my cravings and make me feel comfortable.

Panaginip Kita: Series # 2 - Dream prophecy?

Nakita ko ang mga kaibigan ko sa isang panaginip isang linggo na nakakaraan. Ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng oras isulat ito. At dahil kahit paano parang isang mahiwagang pagtanaw sa kinabukasan ang panaginip na iyon, hanggang ngayon ay sariwa pa sa aking isipan ang mga nakita ko.

Sa isang pagkakataong hinde ko alam kung ilang taon mula ngayon ay nagkaroon kami ng maliit na pagsasalo-salo. Yun ang pinakatema ng panaginip.

Kung iisipin ko, nabuo ang grupo mga ilang apat na taon na nakaraan and it's really growing as the years go. Sa lahat ng nangyari at mga nangyayari pa masasabi kong walang ibang samahan ang mahalaga sa akin kundi sila lang. I guess for what it's worth, sila ang mga naging kasama ko sa halos mahigit 4 na taon and along with that they witnessed and we witnessed each other's lives.

PANAGINIP KO KAYO!

Sa isang bahay nagsimula ang pangitain ko. I think sa bahay ni Enzo naganap ang muling pagkikita namin. Sa panaginip nandun ako, si Enzo, si JM, Aries at parating daw si Phil at Jerome. Kwentuhan lang kami habang inaabangan ang dalawa. Catching up ang tema.

Weird sa panaginip ay di pa din close si Aries at JM after all those years. Pero civil sila.

Sa panaginip ay pinagkwentuhan namin ang mga bago at update sa isa't isa. Si Enzo ay abala sa pagmanage ng negosyo na iniwan ng mama nya. Naka graduate na siya pero ang karera nya ay di pokus sa natapos nyang kurso. Wala pa siyang partner sa panaginip ko. Pero maraming dene-date.

Si JM ay andun pa din sa dati nyang trabaho. Pero di siya makwento sa panaginip ko. Tsika lang ang style nya. Parang walang interes kung di makinig lang at makipagtawanan. One thing is that hinde nya nababanggit si JC so baka di na sila ilang taon mula ngayon.

Si Aries ay galing Australia sa mga panahon na yon. Wala si Raul sa eksena pero sila pa din sa tema ng panaginip ko. At kahit pano sa tagal na nya sa Australia, parang bigtime na sya. Actually busy pa siya sa panaginip kasi naman magkakasama na kami nagtratrabaho pa, Workaholic.

Habang nagkwekwentuhan daw kami ay naging topic namin sila Phil at Jerome. Si Phil ay nasa SG pa din. No mention kung sila pa din ng sweetie nya. Pero parang hinde na. Si Jerome ay single pa din daw. Workaholic din pero happy naman. Di pa din siya lumalabas sa family nya.

Wala si Excel sa reunion nasa SG pa din. Ang ibang miyembro ng FAB 4 ko ay wala din sa eksena ng panaginip pero napag-usapan namin ni JM and so base sa kwentuhan malaki na anak ni Shindie at si Pinky ay single pa din.

Si Jay ay wala sa Pilipinas, natuloy na ata sa abroad plans nya. Si Pilar ay bihira ko mabalitaan base sa panaginip ko pero oks naman sya. Si Docker nakapag-asawa na daw ng mayamang matandang madaling mamatay.

Si Kiko at PJ ay going strong, di sila nakapunta sa reunion kasi nasa abroad na sila. Pero nagkita daw kami bago ako umuwi sa Pinas. So ibig sabihin, sa panaginip ay galing din ako sa abroad. It wasn't clear kung galing ako sa US, Canada, or somewhere else.

Ako? Ano prophecy ko sa sarili ko? Syempre ayon single pa din. La na daw akong nakitang matino after ng mga ilang seryosong relasyon ko. Also, maayos naman ako sa panaginip ko, malusog, buhay pa, mukhang matino ang trabaho at simply taking each day at a time. Sa panaginip, di ko pa din sine-share sa kanila ang ilang updates sa akin. Pero oks naman ako.

Ilang points sa panaginip nakita ko pa ang ilang secondary member ng circle of friends ko. Actually nagulat ako to see them but we were all civil to meet and greet. Sila Jun, Archie, Franz were prominent. They were all surprise to see me kasi matagal na kaming di nagkikita. So it's kind of weird pero good weird.

Lumabas sandali si Enzo to buy stuff for the party. Si Aries nasa taas ng house ni Enzo nagwowork sandali while waiting for others to join. Si JM nasa sofa nanunuod ng tv. So ako lumabas din muna sa neighborhood. Ayun maganda yung place pero di ko alam kung saan yung neighborhood na yon na nakita ko sa panaginip ko. Am thinking now if it is the Nuvali community that I bought, or it's really the house of Enzo.

Talking about dream prophecy ha. What you think?

Live life, love it and be in love with it

I was watching TV the other morning and I heard one of the guest in Today's Show mentioned, "You have to be in love with life."

That utterance, struck me to a fold! It was one of the most meaningful quote I heard. I was able to say to myself that it is indeed true that you can just continue to live life but if you don't know the essence of life then it's probably meaningless.

I just thought that we need fire, passion to live. I realized that no matter how difficult these things are, I need not be weary and tired. I should love life, be in love with life like the way I had been in love a couple of times to some people that came into my life. In essense, you have to be passionate in life. It helps to make you whole and face life differently.

Sometimes when we are faced with challenges, we tend to forget about how to live. Also, we forget about life is good, life is beautiful. As I heard those words from the mouth of the person on the TV, I just actualized that I have been consumed with so much worries lately and I am forgetting to live like it's my last day in this world. I should come back soon to normal state!

P.S. I love you

Today, as I end another weekend, I got hooked up by watching DVD. I just finished watching the movie P.S. I love you which starred Hillary Swank and Gerard Butler. It was one of the movies I never had a chance to see in the big screen. I'm glad I rented one dvd copy at Blockbuster and spent time watching it.

It is a movie about love, life and the complexities that goes with it. It was sweet, warm and exciting at some point. It made me a bit reflective about things going on in my mind. It made me feel sad about the way Gerry, the lead male character died and all the while left his wife Holly alone. It was a good plot and a good story to stir all throughout the movie. It's about letting go and finding your own self after you have come to face death and its complexities.

There were things that run in my mind as I watched that movie. These things are:

- what if I die in the next 5-20 years, will I be celebrated?

- will I still find someone in my life that I can truly say my partner and friend

- how come I have never came across a certain situation with someone that I can say "This is the moment"

- if I get sick, will there be somebody to care of me 'til the end

- perhaps if I knew I'll die, I can prepare something like what the male lead character did before he died in that movie - he prepared some more surprises for his wife! that's really sweet! In my case, I guess I'll do the same for my friends and family.

If you're reading this, and you haven't watched that film that I just mentioned here. Then don't waste time and grab a copy. It will melt your heart, touch your soul and inspire you to like life, live life and depart and move on and let go.

P.S. I love you

On excitement, worries and moments - ALL SET!!!

These past few weeks had been equally colorful for me. I have been mostly busy with the editing of the videos that I prepared for my dad's birthday bash. YES! You are right. We, in the family, organized an event for him under my OCOC supervision and string Project Management skills. I think my Aunt Meynee is already pressured with all the instructions that I have been emailing her. Anyways, I am JUST EXCITED that finally now we are gonna execute our plan. As I write this, it's OCT 11 in Manila - this is the date that we chose to hold the event for my tatay. Over 80 invited guests - family, relatives, friends and my dad's former office mates in one event. I am a bit sad that I am far and away however I am also happy because this is IT. This is his moment that I pictured once that will happen for him. I MADE IT HAPPEN amids all the concerns that I have been experiencing lately. Bottomline, I thank God for letting me do this for my tatay. The excitement is mounting knowing that on the other side of the world there's a bunch of family friends and relatives now that are all moving together in one venue to celebrate and pay tribute to my dad.

IT'S MY MONEY. IT'S WHAT I WANT.

"Money is evil dressed in the smell of gold. It is evil inspired as much as it was a blessing from heaven."

I am not from a rich family, not even from a well to do clan. My mom and dad used to tell me to be diligent in all my works and undertakings so that I can achieve much and earn enough to gain all the success, material things and blessings that I have now. It's not easy to work hard and at the end of the day just let the fruit of your labor just be put to pay bills, utilities and only a few to savings. Anyways, I am thankful I earn enough and that's something to keep me sustained together with my dad. It's just enough for myself and my dad. There are times when I can extend some for those who need assistance. BUT IF I DO THAT, sometimes the people in my surrounding thinks am a money machine. WELL now I AM TELLING YOU I AM NOT. I am just like anybody else who works hard and earn the money. In fact, I am a slave in the corporate world. NOW YOU TELL ME, IS THAT THE MAKING OF A MONEY MACHINE. NO!

Of all the blessings and evil that came by in my life, money is perhaps the most prominent, significant item. I just can't deduce the fact that while I am pretty much blessed and perhaps earning enough for myself and my dad right now, some people would think I AM SO RICH! The fact of life is, I AM NOT. I am still working my ass up just to live and sustain all these things I am enjoying. AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT, IF I ENJOY MY EARNINGS. I DESERVE IT, TOGETHER WITH SOME EXTRAVAGANCE I WANT TO SHOWER MY DAD AND MYSELF. I THANK GOD ALWAYS FOR GIVING ME LIFE, MAKING ME DO THE THINGS I DID AND THE BLESSINGS HE SHOWERED ON ME.

Nonetheless, like life is wheel, money is never enough. TRUE! Even the richest person in the world would agree to this. I am in need of more money right now. These are the days when some crossroads are being faced by anyone. Just as I am facing something right now, a bigger crossroad that no one could possibly ever imagine. To alleviate an impending disaster, I am thinking I need to secure all the money I can get. IT MAY SOUND SO OVERRATED BUT I AM NOT SAYING THIS JUST FOR THE SAKE OF SAYING IT. I would be prudent that nowadays, apart from all my plans, I get so vigilant to obtain any receivable that I am expecting from my landlords, friends, and even relatives. I would look like I am so greedy just by writing all these lines right now about my dire need to obtain all the money wealth I can get! WELL, I don't care about what you think bitch and dog! The fact of life is, I am in need of money. FOR THE REASONS I AM ONLY IN THE CAPACITY TO KNOW and UNDERSTAND.

Just tonight, in the comfort of my house, I contacted my exlandlord to give me my apartment deposit,which is considerably a big amount. It's an amount enough to cover some other expenses so that I wouldn't have to worry too much. TO MY DISMAY, I didn't get any response from her up to this point! I just can't fathom the idea. I just can't understand why does it seem she's ignoring me. IS IT TOO MUCH TO REPLY TO MY TEXT! FUCKING SHET! IT'S MY MONEY THAT I AM TRYING TO GET! WHY CAN'T SHE INFORM ME AT LEAST OF THE STATUS. I HATE SUCH DISPLAY OF NOT SEEMING TO CARE AT ALL. Some of you will say, "It's only money!".. Well honey it ain't money til you have it in your pocket! And if you have more pressing reason in your life, you would think I am not so fucking asshole at all at this point.

I am extra sensitive about money matters because it's not like the first time when I experience some discomfort for not getting what is owed to me because of money. There was a time when my mom lent her money to my uncle until both of them died already and they never get to settle the credits. Now it's like a big crack in our family (at least from my end to the family of my uncle). That money could have been helpful to us if it was returned to us. Anyways, it's like water down the drain! IT'S AN AMPLE SUM OF MONEY WHICH I DON'T ANYONE CAN JUST SHOVE OFF. In fairness to my Uncle's family, they were quite in a hard time then so my mom can't really force them to pay. And as they say blood is thicker than marinara sauce. NOW, it's my generation, our generation, my cousin and I who should settle. But then, I don't think she and her brother is in the right set of mind to at least pay us back. I CAN SEE SHE'S DOING WELL NOW. That's really good, so isn't it automatic if you're doing well at least be sensitive to pay back, reach out and let us know if you still plan to pay your dad's debt. Which by the way my mom was so kind to understand after all those years we never really pressure your ends to pay.

In my own dealings, I've been trustful and kind enough to provide some close friends some assistance and even other relatives. I am generous, understanding to a point when it comes to money. Although I realize that my mom and I does seem to share same destiny when we lend money to others, I just can't seem to really think of the bad thing. But then, TO MY OWN DISCOMFORT, IT IS I STILL WHO WOULD BE BEGGING THEM (those who owe me money) TO GIVE IT BACK TO ME. While I understand their reasons, DO THEY REALIZE I ALSO HAVE MY REASONS?! TO MY HEARTACHE, I WOULD BE MARKED AS THE BAD GUY IF I DON'T SEEM TO EXTEND MY UNDERSTANDING. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON THIS WORLD?!

Back to my exlandlord,I just wish she settles with me. I need the details and I need it now damn shet! Oh well, I try to keep my cool. I just had to vent now 'cause I'd been following up with her for a month already. Aside from that, there are other finances I need to settle and am waiting to balance my spreadsheet. For some friends that I am also sending their statements to me, you would understand. I am not just saying all these to create a sensation. It's seldom that I burst out and tell the world of everything!

NOW! You tell me. Why shouldn't I feel bad about not getting my money! It's my money! It's for me. Aside from the fact that I have financial obligations to fulfill, there's a lot of reason right now that I NEED EVERY RECEIVABLE THAT I CAN GET! Read my mind from these, you'll know what and how big of a trouble I am facing right now.

Now, you tell me. Should I calm down!? NO WAY! As much as I am trying to be rational about it. Sorry. I HAVE MY REASONS!

Panaginip Kita: Series #1 - 09232008

i dreamed of you last night. i was somewhere , i can't recall if i am in bulacan. may pupuntahan daw ako pero i cant seem to find my way. and then i came upon a house, a house not familiar to me but i am drawn to it. then suddenly came out you! yeah you! it was your house, your parents house. you invited me in.. you welcomed me and introduced me to you dad and mom. they were very accommodating.
but i wasnt sure if you're out to them already so i just pretended to be a regular guy. we ate and we talked over the dining table. and then you said that there's a party at your house later that day. i forgot whether its a birthday or what.. but still you invited me...there are other vague series along that scene..

to continue..i saw myself enjoy enjoy sa party... naglibot libot daw ako sa party.. etc etc.. nag iba ang setting ng dream ko pero andun ka pA DIN .. MEdyo nagin telefantasya ata sya.. all of a sudden parang may bundok, adventure etc.. may sinuot daw akong singsing .. singsing parang may powers or something.. inilagay ko sya sa palasingsingan kong daliri. humigpit ng humigpit yung singsing hanggang sa sobrang higpit nya ay parang ni-pop nya ang KUKO ko.. natanggal yung KUKO ko. (masakit ba kamo?).. pero for some reason i was shocked that i did not feel any pain. and in second i saw that My fingernails grew back again. ganon lang.. tapos i think you mentioned something like everything will be ok.. or something.. i think in that note you knew that something is wrong with me or you were just delighted that it was like symbolic. btw, andun din mga cousin ko sa eksena. and some other familiar faces i can't recall who..

after noong eksena na yon.. sobrang linaw pa din, nagising na ako..7 AM na pala.

nagmuni muni ako.. sabi ko eemail kita about this dream.. your visit in my dream.. or something more to this dream i need to really take note of..

by the way, i dreamt weeks ago.. yet another friend of mine in my dream .. telling me that I need not worry for it will be beautiful in that place (she was referring to heaven) .. she said that I should not worry if I am gonna die..it will be good and all my worries will be gone.. I SUDDENLY WAKE UP ON THAT INSTANCE.. but it was also a vivid thought ..

HOW WEIRD THESE DREAMS ARE..

So i decided to keep a track of some dreams I've been having.. I wanted to see if there's a pattern.

Panaginip kita..

Of weekend, lazing out, pinoy food, barnes and birthday planning

So this weekend was perhaps the most lazy weekend since I came here in Florida. Instead of going to the safari trip with office friends, I was so lazy to join so I just stayed home. A Saturday of just googling, browsing pinoychannel tv, eating, pig outing, laundry sorting, meeting adam etc etc .. All these laze out made my back ache.. a day of seating all day, lounging all day for all the nonsensible things. I just love it.

So this weekend was about thinking if I should go out to go bar hopping. But I just opted to drive around the FLL night street on a Friday then settle myself with a drive thru dunkin donuts coffee for as early as 5 AM of Saturday. After that, head home and sleep all throughout Saturday.

So this weekend was about going to the gym on a Saturday night, trying to lift some weights and lose some guts. It's a night to feel good about myself. A night to shoot some photos in the dark. A night to go back to my loungty and comfy Ikea chair and look at the boob tube while enjoying an uploaded For the First Time movie copy at Pinoychannel tv.

Lastly, this Sunday weekend was perhaps the summit of my lazy weekend. It gave me a headache. It made me useless the wholeday. Except for a lunch trip with office friends at Amay's Carinderia and Catering in Johnson St., I practically slept all day due to my headache. As I write now, I am cooking ginataang Tilapia, smells good, tastes even better. Have some!

So this weekend is the laziest weekend, all just in the comfy of my small abode. All the lazing out, the pinoy food I have here, birthday planning on the side all these weekend. Still such lazy feeling. I am just letting this flow for now. I don't intend this to eat my whole humanity and totality. I just hope this goes away asap. I don't really like to be lazy. It's like next to nothingness at all.

Post Script:

Barnes - when you're lazing out. Go to Barnes, they have books, you can read while sipping coffee or munching cakes at Starbucks. It's practically a comfy place to laze out while people watching, I mean watching the people, either cute, beautiful, sexy, handsome, hunky they go to Barnes and it's such a treat.. at least just for me.

Sleepless

I can't sleep these days.

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If the mind is so complex and filled with information, then these is how a segment of my thought had been experiencing. A lot of information seated in my mind right now, so much content inside, whether relevant or not. It is full of complexities, concerns and enigmas that I can't seem to just shrug off. It's now resulting into some sleepless nights. I need some relief.

!@$V^V btttb bbbttrrrr brrrrr ssssshhhhh

I am no fan of hospitals or clinic at all!

So here it goes, I went on to have my doctor's appointment later today. I left the office after seeking permission or informing my associates that I have to go to the doctor today.

I am early and was literally on time. I registered at the counter. I sat by the waiting area. I read some of the magazines. At some point, I even had to dial in to one my meeting while I am waiting for my turn at the doctor's table. In the course of my waiting time, I got so pissed off and disappointed 'cause I have been waiting for over an hour already.

My turn came, I got called by the nurse. She was polite enough and cheerful mood so at least my irritation on the situation was lowered at some point. We proceeded with the routine vital sign check up etc. After that, she asked me to wait for the doctor. This time, literally I am inside a small room inside the clinic, where I am asked to wait for the doctor.

In that small room, where I am seating and waiting, I felt some discomfort and stress! I waited there for another 30 minutes. So my dissatisfaction got so high, I had to go out of the room and ask the receptionist where the FUCKING DOCTOR IS! They were polite enough, but rather COLD BITCHES I would say. I asked them to tell me how long I would have to wait for the doctor since I have been there for over an hour already. On that moment, I felt like what is the use of setting an appointment when you still get delay in getting the attention.

Finally, the old doctor came in. He was apologetic for his delay. He had so many patients to deal with prior to me, that's he's excuse. I told him in a jokingly manner but seemingly disgusted way, "I THOUGHT I HAD TO JUST RESCHEDULE. FOR I HAVE BEEN IN HERE FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW. YOU BETTER TELL ME SOME GOOD NEWS.!"

To cut it short, after long time of waiting. I totally wasted two hours of my time this afternoon. It turns out that my other tests were not yet in. So I said, why did your staff gave me a call to set an appointment today when all you have for me is incomplete information!

Poor doctor, 'cause I am no longer tolerant about the inefficiency. Add to that, the stress level I incurred by waiting in that small gloomy room. Imagine my stress thinking of some morbid thoughts, how sad it was inside that room, all white painted room, not so lively room and seemingly lifeless room. It reminded me of my mom when she was hospitalized years back and died. It reminded me of my friend who just got hospitalized recently. It reminded me of the things, all the sad things of why people go to clinics, hospitals or patient care sections. Even if this is just a simple check up, it does matter for me. Even if it's just a simple doctor visit, it was such a big deal 'cause sometimes doctor visits can either be a good news or a bad news. So imagine, the added stress of waiting that long only to be told I will still have to wait, do this check up again etc etc etc

Timeless

I have not been counting the time lately. At least, maybe not consciously tracking it. I don't want to be tied up by thinking that I only have so much time to do everything.

My work does entail me to plan and manage solutions and deliverables. In relation to that, in essence time is important. It is probably the aspect of my life right now that I try to keep and sustain. After all, being on time, doing things on time, tracking everything to be as planned is where I earn my bread and butter.

On the other hand, I would love it if I can just live without counting my days and enjoy life and stay young, livelier, better. I guess that's how life should be, timeless.

Beaches and my feeling of serenity

For the past few weeks here in sunny South Florida, I've found myself practically drawn to the sea. There is something in the waves, in the sand, in the water and the sound of it that made me feel serene and calm.

Since South Florida has a lot of beaches to choose from I've managed to visit a few of them for some simple breeze walking along the shore, meditation on the fine sand, soaking of my feet in the salt water. I love the sea, the water, the gust of the wind blowing, the sound of the waves battering the air waves.

I look beyond to the point where my eyes can just glance and my mind to think of my worries. The sea, the vast water is dissolving all the worries, it's keeping me sane, grounded and inspired. The sea while it's meeting the sandy beaches of South Florida is bringing me a lot of energy nowadays.

I wish, like the water I can endure and crash every trials and concerns I have right now. :-/

JT is forever

REPOSTING HERE - My profile headliner last August 2008

JT is forever,
I'm all thy need to please you,
I can stimulate and tease you,
I won't leave in the night,
You’ve no fear that I might desert you,

JT is forever,
Approach me and then get to know me,
Touch me, stroke me and maybe undress me
You can see every part,
Nothing hides in the heart only pure intention.

You do need love;
A lot of good love will do you!
JT never lies to you,
For when there’s JT love, I'll luster on further.

JT is forever,
Sparkling round your aura.
Unlike other men (or women),
JT lingers;
Other men are mere mortals;
Who are not worth going to your grave for.

You do need love;
For love will do you good!
JT never lies to you,
For when I am gone,
No other lives will ever go on.

JT is forever, forever, forever.
JT is forever, forever, forever.
Forever and ever.

Gentlemen Series - Clubbing mode

APPRECIATE ME

Gentlemen Series: Jake Gyllenhaal ready to be worshipped

So it's another G-series. Not sure how much of you love the boyish Jake from Brokeback Mountain.

Right now, the boy is a man! He's so buff you wouldn't really expect that his rugged, rough look for his new role in Prince of Persia would literally take your briefs and panties off with their garters. This movie is expected to come rolling soon.

Thanks to JustJared.com for the pics. See more of this OHHH! Jake stuff from there. I wonder if that bulge is for real! And I wonder how much of JAKE is REESE feeling every night or every day. HEHE

Definitely Reese is winner in bed nowadays! Lucky bitch!

Is this Nekkid Fun?

The Cat Who Saw You Nekkid! -- powered by flowgo.com

SERYENG TAGALOG: Teksmeyt

Kagabi bago ako matulog ay nagmuni muni lang ako sa pagbura ng mga mensahe sa inbox ng Smart Roaming cellphone ko. Nakakatuwang isipin at balikan ang mga mensahe natanggap ko kung kani-kanino mula sa Pinas.

Mayrong isang mensahe na nagsasabing nanalo daw ako ng malakeng halaga ng salapi at kelangan ko silang tawagan. Napag-usapan ang scam sa teks! Grabe talaga. Pano kaya nila nakukuha ang numero ng mga tao? Sana nga totoong nanalo na ako ng malakeng halaga para mabayaran ko mga pagkakautang ko at maipundar ko pa ang mga bagay na gusto kong makuha sa buhay ko. Sabi nga sa palabas na "IISA PA LAMANG" - "Kakaibang kapangyarihan ang naibibigay ng salapi." Totoo naman talaga..yun na!

Mayroon pang isang mensahe mula naman sa Smart na naniningil ng bill ko. Lech sila sa loob loob ko maghintay sila sa bayad ko! Ayon.. kaya binura ko na yung teks nila. Wala naman akong malaking pangangailangan sa kanila sa puntong ito sapagkat may gamit din akong cellphone dito sa Merika at may landlayn pa akong ipinakabit so dami ng gastos sa mga utilities.

Karamihan naman sa mensahe na andun sa cellphone ko ay mula sa mga taong nakasalamuha ko sa Pilipinas sa nakaraang 9 na buwan. Lahat ng iyon ay mga masasabi kong kakilala, kasama at kalaro sa mga pagkakataong ako’y nag-iisa. Ang iba dun mga ka-date, mga kaulayaw na seryoso at hinde, mga ka-meet up na eventually naging friend friend na din. Naisip ko lang dahil sa layo kong ito, marahil nga ay nagmarka ako sa kanila at na-impress ko sila sa aking pagkatao para maalala pa din nila ako. Umalis kasi ako ng di naman ako nagpapaalam sa karamihan sa kanila. Hinde ko naramdaman ang pangangailangan na ipaalam ko sa kanila kung saan ako pupunta. Ngayon, di ko na sila sinasagot sa teks kasi mahal ang sumagot sa kanila. Yung iba sinasagot ko minsan, lalo yung matino. At ilan halos sa kanila talaga namang hinde ko masasabing naging ka-close ko. Lahat ng iyon ay bahagi ng buhay ko.

Sa dami ng naipong mensahe halos 1 oras din ako nagbubura. Kung sa kabilang banda ay maraming mensahe na tila walang kabuluhan, mayroon din naman mga mensahe doon na aking natanggap. Ang ilan ay totoong bumabati sa aking nakaraang kaarawan nung Hunyo. Ang ilan ay simpleng pangungumusta at pag aalala sa akin. Ang iba naman ay mga nakakatawang teks dyok! Ang ilan pa dun sa mensahe ay may edad nang higit sa 2 taong naka-imbak sa inbox ko. Kaya naka-imbak ng matagal sa phone ko ay may kabuluhan kasi para sa akin ang mga tinuran kong mensahe. Sa madaling salita ay may “sentimental value” ang taong nagsend sa akin ng mensahe na yon.

Habang nakahiga ako ay naisip ko kung gaano naging iba-iba ang mga grupo ng kakilala ko mula sa mga seryoso, maaasahang kaibigan, mahal sa buhay hanggang sa pinakawalang kwentang kontak. Isa lang ang pinatunayan sa akin ng mga mensaheng iyon, kahit walang kwenta at sobrang simple lang ng mensahe ugali ko talagang itago muna ang isang bagay, maging mensahe, bagay, or kahit anong nakakapagpaalala sa akin ng isang sitwasyon. Minsan nakakatuwang balikan, minsan may kurot sa damdamin, may halong lungkot at kasiyahan.

Isa sa pinakahuling teks na nakuha ko ay mula sa isang mahal na kaibigan na nagbigay buhay sa isang sanggol kamakailan. Isang magandang balita para sa akin. Sa wakas, isa sa mga kaibigan ko ay isang ganap ng ina. Nakikisaya ako sa kanya.

Ikaw? Anong balita sa iyo teksmeyt!?

Baltik

Sa lahat ng pagkakataon ko sa buhay hinde ko na maisip kung paano ko lahat hinarap iyon. Sa kabila ng mga pangamba, ng pag aalinlangan ay nagpatuloy ako sa pakikibaka ko.

Hinde ko na alam kung paano ko hinarap ang bawat isang pagsubok. Pero sa pagkakataong ito na aking hinaharap ngayon ay muli kong susubukan na harapin ang hamon ng tadhana.

May ilang buwan na din ng magising na lang ako bigla at natanggap ko ang isang sorpresa. Isang sorpresa para sa nalalapit kong kaarawan. Sa aking paningin ay higit pa sa kahit anong hamon ng buhay ang natanggap kong ito.

Ngayon, sa bawat araw na dumadaan, lagi ko ng iniisip ang lahat ng mga pagkakataon kung kelan ako naging masaya, pinagpala, at maswerte. Sabi nga nila bilangan daw ang biyaya. Ngayon iniisip ko kung sapat ang dami ng kasiyahan ko para bilangin. Sa aking pagbabalik tanaw sa mga pagkakataon na yon ay nakakaramdam ako ng konting kurot sa damdamin sapagkat naiisip ko kung anong mga bagay ang nasayang at kung anong mga bagay pa ang maari kong talikuran sa hinaharap dahil na din sa mga pagsubok na susuungin ko pa sa mga susunod na araw.

Sa bawat patak ng oras, mas naiisip ko ngayon kung sino pa kaya ang magiging kasama ko habang tumatagal? Sino pa kaya ang mananatiling tapat sa akin sa pagtagal ng panahon? Gaano katagal pa kaya ako maghihintay para sa huling sandali ? Ano pa kayang mga magagandang bagay at pagpapala ang tatanggapin ko ? Paano pa kaya ang mga susunod kong plano ? Mahahanap ko ba ang sagot sa isang malaking tanong ngayon sa sarili ko ? Ang dami kong tinatanong sa sarili ko nitong mga huling araw. Hinde na kasi biro ang mga kakaharapin ko pero sa kabilang banda ganon naman ata ang buhay, kaya tuloy tuloy lang.

Ngayon ang tanging ginagawa ko lang ay patagalin ang pagharap sa isang bagay na alam kong di ko naman kayang iwasan. Subalit sa pag iwas kong ito din ay nagkakaroon ako ng sapat na lakas para sa mga susunod na araw ay makaya kong humarap sa sarili ko, sa mga tao, sa buhay.

Noong isang araw ay nagmamaneho ako at parang isang malaking balik tanaw ang naisip ko. Nakita ko ang sarili ko dati at ang sarili ko ngayon. Malaking pagbabago ang nag-aabang. Ayoko matakot muna sa mga mangyayari, pero tingin ko dapat akong maging handa. Maraming mga alalahanin ang pumapasok sa kaisipan ko nitong mga huling araw, sa kabila ng mga paglilibang at pagsasaya ay di ko pa din maiwasan na mag-isip.

Nakaharap ako sa salamin, tila sinusuri ko ang aking sarili. Iniisip kong sa haba ng buhay ko, tatagal ba ako sa pagsubok. Sinasabi ko sa sarili ko tatagal ka ba, kelangan mo ng magplano at maglaan ng panahon. Yun lang ang nasabi ko sa sarili ko habang nasa harap ng salamin.

Tumingala ako sa langit, habang sumisigaw ang aking damdamin na animo’y isang tahimik na sigaw ng nagaalimpuyong pangamba, takot at kaba. Sa pagtingala ko ay abot kamay at pilit akong tumatayo para lamang magpatuloy. Sa kabilang banda, sabi nga ng karamihan. sa huli ay iisang bangka pa din ang sasakyan natin tungo sa liwanag. Kaya ako masayang ang oras kakaisip. Sa pagkakataong ito tinatapos ko itong pagtatala na ito.

Nude Beach and everything

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon when me and the boys got out of our comfort zone and drove towards the hot and steamy Miami beach. We went to Haulover Beach park, the famous nude beach that catered to the vast dynamic population who wants to show what they got and strut their stuffs.

Hold on though! We didn't stay in the actual nude beach section (NORTHERN portion of the beach). We contented ourselves at the SOUTHERN portion but we had a good view of the NORTHERN situation ahahahaha

From sexy lads to no head turner species, we graced and glared with shock, laughter and fun while walking along the beach and seeing the exposed human anatomy in all sizes, color and shapes!

You may feast your eyes now here

What Dreams May Come

Last night, I slept at around 1 AM est. It was perhaps a normal sleep time for me. I had a good weekend spent here with my office friends, it was quite a short weekend, so many activities to do and of course this is also tiring in a way.

I slept deeply and dreamt so clearly about some vivid pictures in my subconscious mind. There were two significant points in that dream that I remember:

A good old friend in my dream.

A pregnant friend whom I have not seen for the longest time. I went ahead and research for the meaning of this particular dream. It taunted me to search for the meaning because the scene was peculiar enough. The friend that I am referring to here as pregnant is a "he". And that he is gay after all these years that we've become friends I never knew until now. That is the premise of the dream. In the dream, it was a sudden reunion with him (and his BF) when we meet on a mountain climbing trip. The scene between me and my old friend is so clear. In the dream, I can certainly say that I am surprised. It even shock me when I learned that he's pregnant. I even utterred, "Imposibleng buntis siya, eh lalake yan eh."

The dream of a friend, an old good friend, being pregnant, being gay is a unique thing to dream. I went on to the dream interpreter website to see what kind of meaning this thing is trying to convey to me.

Interpretation:

To see your childhood friend in your dream, signifies regression into your past where you had no responsibilities and things were much simpler and carefree. You may be wanting to escape the the pressures and stresses of adulthood. Consider the relationship you had with this friend and the lessons that were learned.

Second Dream: I am cutting my fingernails.

My second dream pictured myself cutting fingernails. I am just surprise that even this so specific act of cutting fingernails can be so prominent in my dream.

Interpretation:

Suggests that you are trying to avoid some situation or trying to get out of a responsibility.

Facets of a Smile

Sometimes. even if we are dissolved in worries or bad thoughts. The only best thing to do is just smile. It's one of life's toughest lesson to learn. Think about it.

Living the life

My Key West trip put me in a perspective where I am able to think of the weary worries that I have been fighting ever since I came to know and understand the situation.




I paused for a while on this Key West trip where I took pictures from my new Nikon D40 dSLR which made my catch of life even more vibrant and truly breathtaking.

Living the life is the thought that I had when I was there in Key West. Truly remarkable trip, had fun, enjoyed the beach, the not so crowded but lively streets of Duval and Simonton along with many other Key West street landmarks.

Rhapsody

What is this ecstasy that I feel right now

Inspired by a film that never got wrong

In my obscurity I found solemn

This rhapsody of feeling I enjoy

It’s true that I feel dejected

Nonetheless in this spur of the moment

I felt high and momentous

This rhapsody I hope to enjoy longer and more

Everybody's Changing by Keane

Not really the perfect song to describe my thoughts and concerns laterly. But certainly, I encountered change that is probably the most notable turn in my endless drive in life.You say you wander your own land But when I think about it I don't see how you can You're aching, you're breaking And I can see the pain in your eyes Since everybody's changing And I don't know why. So little time Try to understand that I'm Trying to make a move just to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same. You're gone from here Soon you will disappear Fading into beautiful light 'cause everybody's changing And I don't feel right. So little time Try to understand that I'm Trying to make a move just to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same. So little time Try to understand that I'm Trying to make a move just to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same. Ooo... Everybody's changing And I don't feel the same.

Calming

In this hour, I call upon the light to calm my senses. I ask the Highest power to bring me some direction of senseful track.

It will be days ago, when I learn to love life better. It was days ago when I feared the most. The greatest fear and the greatest lost any one can probably experience and try to overcome. Somebody told me to be strong, with this someone I felt some sense of direction. I was right to spill somehow a bit of my self right now. Just at least to unload some burden I have to endure probably until the end.

I call upon the Migthiest to give me more power, to be stronger, to be more calm facing the storm. I ask for healing, I call upon the Universe to conspire and make full sense of my evolution.

I won't know how many days ahead I'll be facing. What I know now, I am trying to be calm, learning to chew this hard rock, and trying to find the best possible solution I can get.

It's gonna be tough ride. Like more than any wild ride in the world can ever level to this. Nonetheless, as I probably have told once in my previous entries, I will live to see the day to seize and hopefully make a difference in making some reality give a good bite!

Credits: Thanks to photoblog.com for the photo. Thanks to you (you know who you are).

CDSTTW

What worst can happen now!? Right now when am feeling down, sorry and about to cry. I wish I can tell you how I feel and you can comfort along the way.

There's no amount of love right now can fill my drought and my battered spirit. I can only be stronger now and try to live each day happy, and free spirited.

So many things are flashing back to me like a rewind and yet I am still here, just me, on this seat, in front of my computer, staring at the screen, blank, just typing the words that means a lot. So much hidden feelings of surprise, shock and thoughts of fear and worries lingering.

I just want to go to the top of the mountain, shout, cry, embrace the land for which I will return in time. I just want to make myself go around, busy, and busy to the point I can forget about the things that just came around.

No amount of ice cream, cakes, good food can fill the void now. I need to find my compass and find my way right.

Confuse. Disoriented. Sad. Thinking. Thinking deeply. What ever happen to me?!

I didn't know the feeling until now. !#!$!%!!$$%!@#$!~~#$!#!#$%&&*(%%^&*$

Sailing On

Like a comet that passes by each time in the sky, I came to know how much life can surprise any one. It’s always a refreshing thought to think about how dynamic life can be and how robust destiny can be inevitable.

At some point in everyone’s life, we could say that none of us did plan perfectly well for things to happen. I remember some good friends of mine that had some life changing situations in the past. Some got married, some went abroad for better careers, some stayed on to manage their own business, some continued to live, some continued to aspire. Most of us did start to aspire and become somebody. Most of us did look at the future with a goal. Many of us did some deep thinking and analysis to see where we can go as we age and learn with wisdom.

I write again, just trying to reflect these changes. And while also looking at the best changes I’ve come to witness in my life I want to think of the good things and how it can inspire me to do better in spite of some recent concerns I have.

In the coming weeks, I’ll probably look and ask myself, “How are you doing?” There has been a significant concern on my part that’s bugging me. I am not ready to talk more about it but I am quite concern on the end part f this probably life changing event. In the next few months, I can speak more freely about this but for now I just like to reflect on what destiny is trying to tell me. What is the reason? What do I need to do? All these “WHAT” questions in my mind right now. Indeed, life can be surprising I tell you.

I am delighted as I sail that some friends are also sailing on to a new chapter. It’s really funny to remember how once we dream and told ourselves that we will stick together if all of our plans don’t fit the direction that we want. But now, it seems that each of us going to be explorer BIG TIME! This is quite refreshing to note. One thing is sure though, we continue to stick together and update each other. Life can be surprising indeed.

My life, my family’s life, my brother’s and sister’s life are all integrated in one common inspiration of success and achievement. This fueled us all to think further with our lives. We may have stumbled once or twice or even more than that but we sailed on. Some of us sailed away farther and while others keep their dock offshore and find their change in there.

I will be changing soon. In fact, I think I’ve changed a bit now. Just looking at some things differently now. Maybe after this confirmation, I will transcend higher. I’ve come full circle with my self and realized a lot of things. As I drive each day, I find myself asking, thinking, analyzing how can I make my change something more meaningful. I feel stressed about this and certainly leading me to just stare in blank. I just want to know what more can I do and hopefully once confirming what I am now comprise then I can sail on steadily once more. We can’t always have a rocky sailing experience, it’s not good. It’s better to just sail on steadily and experience minor wave fronts along the way.

To Him, hear my heart’s desire!

Sweet goodbye for now

Saying goodbye is never an easy thing. I think this statement is true at some point. But my "goodbye for now" was made even warmer and sweeter by good friends Credits to Enzo for the ULTRA RED photo frame.

And then Mopey & Broody's goodbye is even fun and cute in their own way. Broody's "paawa" face and Mopey's wash away style!

Live or Die - excerpts from my time

In this crazy world

Live or die

In this cruel life

Live or die

I came to know

That life is not easy

Live or die

I came to see

That my life is short

Live or die

Live or die

I told myself

Life is short

But I choose to live

I will

Time will come

My spirit shall pass

To all my love

I shall perish with one last laugh

Until that time comes

I choose to live

With all my self

With my life intact

I shall live

My Heart Will Go On

So Rudy Fernandez passed away last June 7. Thanks to my office friend Inzo who like me is a Pepster! He learned about it in PEP - Philippine Entertainment Portal.

I just browsed through Youtube and chose Yuna Ito's version of My Heart Will Go On to bring an Asian twist, perhaps a much personal touch or tribute to Daboy! Let's face it, I am a fan!

Another Chapter starts now!

June 1, 2008 - Narita airport, NRT, Japan 2:10 PM Japanese Time
I arrived in one piece after like almost 4 hours of airplane travel. WHOA! I was asleep most of the time during that flight, quite tired. I was looking at the clouds and thinking about this new chapter once again. A new lease of good opportunity in terms of my career, and of course this will affect other aspect of my life in general.

9 months had passed by since I returned from the US. After that experience, I did hope to come back and I did thought it won't happen due to earlier information. Nonetheless, the opportunity came and here I am facing another chapter in my life.

Second birthday abroad
I'll be celebrating my 29th year abroad. Last year I celebrated my 28th year in Arizona. When I was younger I did thought of celebrating my birthday in a different setting which I think already happened. Thanks to my forecasting of the future! hehe

Leaving "Tatay"
I'd like to think these onshore opportunities that came to me over the last two years isn't something that is keeping my tatay and I to move closer together. Indeed, in reality, it's hard to leave someone you hold dear in your heart. Especially when it's just the two of you counting on each other in these world. This time I intend to bring him with me. I just hope his passport application can push as plan and then his US visa can follow. If not, I will definitely make it happen that he and I spend sometime soon again;

Loveless
They say if you have good career, you don't have a lovelife. For me, I think I had some share of sweet relationship over the past months. However, time isn't so right. I don't want to say good bye to anyone. And never I did. But now, that this reality is biting, I can just hope soon Mr D or Mr J can still continue to muse me, make me happy, and you know.. love me.


Change is indeed the only constant thing in this world. Beginning another chapter, I just hope to fulfill more plans. I am thankful to the Almighty for granting me all the blessings and of course the challenges where I learned some wisdom,. I am delighted and humbled.

Coming soon in the nearest multiply account near you - JT's flashy Florida experience!

Acknowledgements
Thanks for those who came to my small send off party, quick coffee catch up moments. Thanks for those who helped me go to the airport. Thanks for those accompanied me to ship my other stuffs in Bulacan. Thanks to our company HR for helping me process my clearances. Thanks to my company leads for guiding me. Thanks for those people that I met in the past 9 months. Thanks for everything. I never forget. I'm always thankful looking back.

The Condo Fever

Last weekend in Baguio, I saw the movie Condo. It was an indie film that was done in a very puzzling way! I guess the writer really tried to ignite my analytical senses when watching the story unfold before my eyes! Anyways, this movie somehow probably triggered a long conversation between a young friend and myself, especially because we got so trapped in the puzzles of the movie that we just saw.

The conversation unfolds –

I would be writing about this if not because of something that happened today, Monday. I was chatting with Den, a good friend, probably special enough for me. Someone I thought I could spend my life and my time but perhaps it was all too early to assume. Anyways, my train of thought just led me to think about what my young friend and I were talking about in that cold middle of the night while his boyfriend was sleeping between us.

The question is –

“Bakit nga ba hanggang ngayon wala pa..” or something to that effect

I immediately pause and thought about it. My answer was simply “Wala pa eh, may kulang pa sa kanila,” - or something to that effect.

For me, having a partner right now is not a priority but certainly it’s something that I want and hope to have. It’s not a luxury or even a necessity but I do know within myself that I want to have someone with me, to share my joys, laughter and pains. But to this point in time, that person hasn’t really express himself to me. Maybe he is there but then again maybe not. I just grew tired of thinking about it I guess.

That cold night, led my young friend and I to talk about the complexities of getting into a relationship and for that matter the most peculiar relationship any human being could get into. The setting was right, the timing was perfect which made us talk all throughout the night. It was a healthy conversation, it was a refreshing exchange of views. It was a mental sex about love, relationship, beliefs and ideas! I learned some new views and hopefully my friend also learned something from me. It was like a shrink to patient session and vice versa. It was a mutual conversation which got ignited by Condo – the movie.

Conclusion of conversation –

I couldn’t clearly remember the night and how it ended. I know we said “Good night” at the end of our conversation. Aside from that, we lurked on some points such as never surrendering to the disbelief in love, always think of what might be or what could have been, think of what good could possibly happen if you risk this or do that, think of what the other person can do for you to make you laugh or make you cry.

Thanks to the movie, Condo – we may have not find what we’re looking for but we did try to analyze some thoughts and hopefully find our truth or find what we seem to lose or not find.

Life is exciting - grabe!

A track of my days ...

Some weeks ago - Got a word about possible onshore work assignment (Almost thought this would be next year na!)

May 5 - Received an official news I will be going onshore.

Week of May 9 - With all these upcoming onshore assignment, my world went a bit crazy with all the personal items I need to check and settle.

Between May 5 - 9 - sent follow up emails to JM and Pilar to get some receivables. Exchange of sms, texts and IMs just to settle. I need to get this going to add to some of my financial collections. Need more money these days due to some trips and some personal emergencies at home.

May 9 - FAB 4 Manila Get Together. After Pinky and I invaded Malaysia with Excell, now we invade Shangri-la Mall again for a catch up party with soon to be mom Shindie!!! Yey!
It seems like Shangrila is a an official FAB 4 place for meet ups!

May 10 - Going to Sta Rosa, Laguna to check an investment property which I will get soon! Then off to Bulacan to accompany tatay (he is sick and I just learned about it tonight, he's getting well though).

May 11 - Makati. Seeing my friend Dennis. Dennis Dennis Dennis.. hay..

May 12 - Annual Med Exam.

Week of May 16 - Work, Onshore clearances follow,

May 14 - Need to send some personal stuffs back in Bulacan.

May 15 - Am expecting to get JM and Pilar's payment.

May 15 - Dinner meeting with Pilar.

May 16 - 18 - Baguio outing. Are we ready ate?

May 19 - 23 - Hope to complete my GCP preps, my ASLA closure, settle more of my personal items and prepare for a dinner with friends.

May 24 -26 - Hope to spend days with tatay before I leave

May 27 - Rest day I hope

May 28 - 30 - Short trip to Boracay

May 31 - Last minute preparations

June 1 - Hello America again!

June 2 onwards - USA life once again... all the best in this exciting life! So much to celebrate.

I'll be your light

It's 9:19 AM Manila Time. I seat in front of my personal laptop thinking, excited, looking forward and basically happy. Although I am tired from a long and stressfulday at work (midshift), I found myself in hype. Is it because I just came from a very stressful work meetings, project calls and updates round the clock? Or is it because of other latest "chika" in my life, some buzz, some positive winds blowing. I'm loving this feeling! I feel good.

As I walk home from the office, I put on my ipod and tuned in to my upbeat music to keep my long walk a fun-filled experience. Imagine me walking, singing, and stomping my feet to the music as I venture into the side streets of Ayala Avenue, illegally jaywalking at Paseo De Roxas and musing the small streets of Alfaro, Leviste, Sanchez etc etc etc.

One music that caught my attention is one my of club sound favorite - "I'll be your light". You know what!? This song has a heart, has a sense and full of soul. I can't help but think of someone I know when I was listening to the music. This is the only time where I was able to carefully listen to the lyrics of this song. It's a winner!

Here
I want you closer
Don't ever let go
I need you to know that I'm here
Don't worry
No sir, you won't see me run
'Cause I'm far from done
I'm gonna give you all the lovin' your heart needs
When you're standing on the edge I'll reach out so you can see

And I'll be your light
I'm shining in the darkest night
I'll take you to a higher place burnin' so bright
I'll be the song that moves you when all hope is gone
I'll give you strength to carry on
I'm burnin' so bright
I'll be your light

I'll be your light (repeat)

Yes
If the clouds come to cover your sky
Just know that I will stand by
I'll be there
Yes through the hardest of times
Just seek and you will find
That when the world turns cold and almost gray
I can be the one to hold you and show you the way

And I'll be your light
I'm shining in the darkest night
I'll take you to a higher place burnin' so bright
I'll be the song that moves you when all hope is gone
That gives you the strength to carry on
I'm burnin' so bright
I'll be your light

Burnin' bright
Burnin' bright
Burnin' bright

Burnin' bright so you'll see
I can be who you need
Give you faith to believe

And I'll be your light
I'm shining in the darkest night
I'll take you to a higher place burnin' so bright
I'll be the song that moves you when all hope is gone
Gives you strength to carry on
Burnin so bright
I'll be your light

I'll be the light
Gives you strength to carry on
Burnin' so bright

Lyrics Source: Lyrics Time

SERYENG TAGALOG: Sa haba ng paglalakbay

(Sanaysay na hatid ukol sa aking pamamasyal sa Hilagang Luzon bayan ng Pilipinas) Natapos ko na ang isang paglalakbay na matagal ko ng inaasam na mangyari. Naging maluwat, masaya at talagang kaaya-aya ang naging pasyal ko sa hilagang lalawigan ng Ilocos sa bayan ng matanawing Pilipinas. Sa haba ng paglalakbay namin patungo sa aming destinasyon, nadaanan naming ang marami pang bayan sa Gitnang Luzon. Sa kagaya kong halos lumaki sa siyudad, ang makakita ng matanawing lalawigan sa kabilang banda ay isang napakalaking pagkakataon para maisip ko kung gaano kaganda itong Pilipinas. Sa haba ng paglalakbay nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na magpahinga muli at kalimutan ang mga iba ko pang iniisip. Binigyan din ako ng tamang panahon para muli maging tunay ang aking mga ngiti at halakhak sa piling ng mga bagong kakilala at kaibigan. Sa haba ng paglalakbay ko, naalala ko ang mga taong iniwan ko at sana ay kapiling ko na tumatawa, nagbubulungan, nagtsitsismisan habang nasa bus, naglalakad sa kalye ng Crisologo sa Vigan, tumatakbo sa dalampasigan ng Pagudpud at sumisigaw sa bangka dahil sa labis bilis ng takbo nito habang kami ay papalapit sa tinatawag na “Blue Lagoon”. Naalala ko silang lahat dahil sa mga naging paglalakbay ko, wala pa ata akong mahal sa buhay ko na nakasama ko, palagi na lang kung sa madalas ay mag-isa akong humaharap sa bagong mundo at kadalasan ay mga bagong kakilala ang nakakasama ko. Naisip ko sana sa susunod ay may pagkakataong silang mga matagal ko ng kasama, kapamilya at kaibigan ang makasama ko sa aking paglalakbay. Sa haba ng paglalakbay ko, ang bawat tore ng kampanaryo sa Vigan, Laoag, Paoay, Sarrat ay nagpaalala sa akin kung gaano kataas ang aking pangarap. At gaya ng mga nagtataasang tore, sa hinaba-haba ng panahon ang mga pangarap ko ay mananatiling matibay at patuloy kong susungkitin hanggang matamo ko ang kaligayahang hatid ng mga wagas na pangarap na ito. Sa haba ng paglalakbay ko ang bawat taong nakilala ko ay nagpaalala sa akin kung gaano kahalaga ang buhay sa ating lahat. At ang bawat buhay na iyong mamahalin, bibigyang halaga ay sadyang kasama sa iyong kabuuan. Sa paglalakbay kong ito, kung may mga buhay akong pinahahalagahan at inaalala iyon ay ang mga tao gaya ng aking ama, at ang iba pang malapit ngayon sa aking puso. Sa haba ng paglalakbay na ito, nagbigay ito ng hindi mapapantayang aktwalisasyon sa aking sarili kung ano ang gusto kong mangyari sa mga susunod ko pang hakbangin sa buhay. Gusto ko ng buhay na simple pero sapat ang katuwaan, katiwasayan at umaapaw sa masaganang pagpapala mula sa Kanya. Salamat sa Kanya, sa paglalakbay kong ito na Kanyang pinahintulutan na mangyari sa akin. Sa dulo ng paglalakbay na ito, nagkaroon ako kahit paano ng bagong pokus sa mga tatahakin ko pang gawain. Ang mga larawang kuha sa paglalakbay na ito ang magsisilbing matibay kong alaala upang bigyan ako ng kakaibang inspirasyon at sigla sa haba ng paglalakbay. Sa bawat pagkakataong ako ay malulumbay maiisip ko ang paglalakbay na ito kung saan maraming bunga ng alaala ang magbibigay sa akin ng buhay na kulay at lakas ng kasiyahan na hatid ng pasikot-sikot pero pawing magagandang pagliko na aking nasumpungan sa haba ng paglalakbay.

How will I know

I have been asking myself everytime if I see some potential - how will i know, how will i know. The issue is quite simple. I have known what I want. But it seems like knowing it won't just suffice to the achievement of that ultimate goal. There are factors that sometimes affect me and the other party.

I accidentally click the itunes which played How will I know song of Whitney Houston. It caught my attention. Hay! This song kick off my day!

MAGMAMAHALAN TAYO, HANGGANG SA DULO NG WALANG HANGGAN

"Magmamahalan tayo, hanggang sa dulo ng walang hanggan," ang sabi ni Lena sa kanyang mga huling sandali sa nalalabing araw ng Maging Sino Ka Man Book 2.

Kudos to the Book 2 cast of this stylish teleserye from the Kapamilya team. I just can't let this opportunity to pass by and not review and put my at least a cent of my thoughts for this tv series.

Love surpassing all the odds in life is the basic story line of this series. This is what life is all about. Love is always a defining factor in every aspect of life. Maging sino ka man, truly a tv series to love and remember. Can't wait for the Book 3 to start playing!

SERYENG TAGALOG: Sa kamay ni Hesus sa ilalim ng araw sa lalawigan ng Laguna, Quezon at Bulacan

Umaga pa lang ng Huwebes ay tumulak na kami ni tatay patungong Laguna kung saan kami magmumula patungong Quezon. Ang aming ruta patungong Laguna ay sadyang mabilisan, wala pa akong tulog galing sa trabaho ko. Pagdating namin sa bahay ng aking Auntie sa Laguna ay nag-almusal lang kami pagkatapos ay naghanda na ang buong pamilya namin para sa paglalakbay patungong Lucban, Quezon.

Pinuntahan namin sa Lucban ang grotto ng "Kamay ni Hesus Healing Grotto" kung saan sikat ang mahigit 300 hakbang paakyat ng bundok. Sa itaas ng bundok ay ang istatwa ni Hesus na dinadayo ng mga tao lalo 'pag panahon ng Kuwaresma.

Mahaba, matagal at nakakapagod ang byahe patungong Lucban. Medyo kasagsagan ng mga nagsisiuwian dahil sa mahabang bakasyon. Kaya sinuong namin ang mahabang trapiko sa SLEX at sa Maharlika Highway. Dinaanan namin ang lalawigan ng Batangas at ang mga bayan nito bago namin narating ang teritoryo ng Quezon.

Si tatay ay tubong Quezon. Siya ay ipinanganak sa Atimonan, Quezon. Mahalaga kahit paano sa kanya ang biyaheng ito. Matagal na siyang di nakakarating ng Quezon. Ang huling pagdalaw namin sa Quezon ay nung 9 taong gulang pa lang yata ako. Simula noon ay hinde na kami nakabalik lalo pa't nagkasakit na si nanay nung 10 taon ako.

Kitang-kita ko sa tatay ko ang kasabikan na makita ang Quezon. Kahit pa sabihin na sa Lucban lang kami pupunta ay nararamdaman ko na masaya siyang makita ang kanyang lalawigan. Sabik siya na makita ang mga naging pagbabago sa kanyang lalawigan.

Ako man ay nasabik din. Habang nasa biyahe kami hinde ko maiwasan alalahanin ang aking maikling at malabong memorya tungkol sa una kong pagpunta sa Quezon noong araw. Nakita ko ngayon na maganda ang Quezon. Malawak din ito at sadyang progresibo din ang mga bayan. Naisip ko, ano na nga din kaya ang hitsura ng Atimonan kung ang mga kalapit bayan nito ay nagbago din naman. Sana sa susunod ay makauwi kami ng Atimonan.

Naratinmg namin ang Lucban, mga pasado ala-una ng hapon. Maraming deboto ang nasa grotto. May mga seryosong deboto, ang iba ay usyosero lamang, maging ang iba ay turista lamang.

Sa paglalakbay naming ito, kahit pagod ako at walang tulog ay di ko naramdaman na pagod ako. Siguro dahil sa kasabikan kong mag out of town ay malakas ang adrenaline ko. Bukod pa doon, naisip kong binasbasan ako ng Diyos ng sobra sobrang lakas noong Huwebes para kayanin ko ang biyahe namin.

Pagkatapos naming magdasal sa grotto ay ang inaabangang kainan sa palaisdaan. Ang palaisdaan ang isa sa mga restoran na sikat sa Lucban. Natagalan kami sa pagkain sa bagal ng serbisyo at sa dami na din ng taong kumakain ay kulang ang tauhan nila para mapagsilbihan ang lahat. Sa bandang huli ay nagpapasalamat kami sa Diyos sa biyayang inihain niya sa amin.

Ginabi na kami ng makabalik sa Laguna. Doon na kami nagpalipas ng gabi bago kami bumalik ng Bulacan. Salamat sa pagkakataong nadalaw namin ang isang kakaibang grotto sa Katimugang Tagalog. May grotto din sa Bulacan ang sikat na Lourdes Grotto at Divine Mercy grotto. Dinarayo din ito ng maraming tao hinde lang sa Mahal na Araw kundi sa bawat Linggo at araw ng buhay.

Tunay ngang kasiya-siya at mabunga ang araw ng Huwebes santo ko kasama ng pamilya ko. Bukod sa pamilya ay ang pagkakataong nakapag-isip din ako para sa sarili ko. Salamat sa Diyos!

SERYENG TAGALOG: Sa nakaraang isang buwan

Sa muling pagkakataon naisipan kong buhayin ang seryeng Tagalog ko sa "blog". Ginawa ko na ito dati pa sa unang blogsite ko at ngayon nga ay aking susubukang gawin muli dito.

Sa loob ng isang buwan matapos ang araw ng mga puso, naging abala ako sa trabaho. Bukod doon ay ang aking nakasanayan ng gawain na pumunta ng gym para makapaglabas ng stress at kasabay na nito ang pagpapaganda sa aking katawan at mapanatili kong maayos ito kahit di naman talaga pumuputok sa muscle ang katawan ko.

Kaalinsabay ng trabaho at gym ang pagpaplano ko sana na mag out of town noong Feb 29-Mar 3. Hinde natuloy ang tangkang pagpunta ko sa Boracay kasama si Gerard na kaopisina ko. Maraming mga balakid sa plano na ang pinakahinatnan ay ang pagtunaw ng plano kaya di kami natuloy. Siyempre nauwi sa back up plan na mag-Batangas na lang din. Pero ito man ay hinde umusad.

Nakuntento ang sarili ko sa pagpirmi sa aking condo. Bukod doon ay nagpunta ako sa isa sa mga kilalang Chinese Astrologer na si Master Chao at nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na makita ko ang aking kapalaran gamit ang lumang sistema ng astrolohiya ng mga Tsino. Gayon din naman, ako ay nagpunta sa Spa para magamit ko ang nabili kong Spa package. Naisip ko okey na din naman na 'di ako natuloy sa Boracay at Batangas. Marami din akong nagawa dito sa loob ng limang araw na bakasyon kong iyon.

Sa loob ng isang buwan, nagkaroon ako ng oras para manuod ng pelikula nila Maria at Dingdong, Toni at Sam at ng kung ano ano pang pelikula na lumabas sa sine at sa dvd. Nagtangka akong gumawa ng review noong nakaraang 2 linggo pero nagloloko itong multiply blog ko at 'di nailathala dito sa online ang review ko. Sayang! Tanda ko pa, inis na inis ako nung hinde na-save yong sinulat ko. Tang ina!

Sweet valentine gifts

1 long stemmed rose and 1 sweet classic confection of chocolate cake on Valentines Day just for me. I find this very sweet. It's been a while when someone took time to give me something like this.

I can't say much. I just wanna savour this feeling. It's different! :)

A Valentine Treat

What Jonathan Tierra means?

table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2> What Jonathan Tierra Means You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.







You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?